Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Single & Lovin' it?

I had an epiphany. 

I need to be true to myself. I need to listen to my body, my thoughts, my emotions, my mind. 

There is no unchart-able territory in my heart/mind.  I must not be afraid to explore the deep darkness of my mind/heart/body/soul.

I must do everything I can to remain happy, preserve my sanity, and enjoy life. 

Who said that being single was bad/boring/lonely/hell?
These may be the best years of my life!

So I made a bucket list of things to do in the interim while I'm waiting to exhale. I need to (in no particular order).......

1. Travel - Norway, Morocco, Germany, France, across West Africa
2. Learn - new things like new sports, a new language, new life/practical skills
3. Read - more recreational books, novels
4. Dream - dream big, take on new challenges, start a big-picture/macro project

I'm currently reading books by:
-John Steinbeck (Grapes of Wrath)
-Rohan Mistry (A Fine Balance), 
-Anton Chekhov (The Steppe)

To-do Book List:
- Blink by Malcolm Gladwell
- The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell
- Freakonomics by Stephen Dubner and Steven Levitt
- Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyer
- Conquering your Quarterlife Crisis
- Twenty-Something Manifesto
- Temple of My Familiar by Alice Walker
- The Autobiography of Malcolm X. 
- Wounds of Passion by bell hooks
- Bluest Eye
- A Woman's Worth by Tracy Price Thompson
- In the Spirit by Susan Taylor
- A Northern Light by Jennifer Donnelly
- The Glass Menagerie
- Brainwashed: Challenging the myths of black inferiority by Tom Burell 

- and many more books by African Authors.

This epiphany suddenly hit me because for a while back there, I had been feeling like I was waiting for something big to occur before my life would start "happening". I'm talking grand events, a big sign, thunder/lightning in the sky...

And in the past, I had a linear plan. Get into school. Do my graduate research. Finish my dissertation. Get a job. Get hitched. Birth youngins...etc. But I couldn't help thinking that there's gotta be more to life than...

Anyway, in my linear plan, I didn't allot time for true personal growth or the pursuit of spirituality. I just assumed these things would happen along the way as a consequence of all the other plans I was carrying out. So it turned out that there was growth in many areas of my life but yet so many more areas of me still need work. 

I know. I'm a masterpiece in progress.

So here I am, on September 1st, 2010, doing a much-needed reassessment of my life. And saying to myself that I have to make a concerted effort to actually live my life. I re-pledge to live deliberately from this moment. That is, to be an active agent of my own change and not that which is acted upon.

So if you're reading this entry, what areas of you still need work? And what are you doing to grow as a person?


seye said...

I made a commitment to ....b.o.o.k.s. Just like you, I have already created my to-do book lists. hehe

Third World Profashional said...

I see someone's been watching "Eat, Pray, Love". My bucket list has just one entry: GIVE BIRTH!!
I swear my womb is twanging, I'm feening for some chilluns.

Parakeet said...

Conquering your Quarterlife Crisis

Think I need to read that book, who wrote it? I battled my quarterlife crisis around this time last year and I wanna learn how I shud have approached it rather than putting myself in hospital with ECG beeping away and my friends' hearts in their mouths.

I think I need to grow spiritually too. I still don't have a career but I've long decided that am not a career person. In the absence of that I wanna dedicate some part of my life making other people's life better. So I've been thinking about doing more charity work but I need to figure in what area my strenghth is more needed.

So Anyaposh me and you have work to do.

blogoratti said...

Ah a book list...I need me some of that.

Miss FlyHigh said...

Enjoy the time.....I can't say being single will be the best time of your years (Lol I'm still single myself) but I can say while single you can achieve more so use it wisely and do all you want to do.

Travel, Learn and Dream is on my list.

Books not yet because I don't know where to start.Funny enough someone came into my room the other day and gasped as to how many books I had on my shelf. LOL
I've read battlefield of the mind..excellent book!

My plan was once like yours. It's so out the window. lol I know it's most females plans but to be honest there really is more to life than that.

In answering your question. To grow as a person I'm spending more time with God. I know without him I am totally lost and I'm not just saying that but with him I know I'll have direction as to whether or not I should follow through with some things. Ummm I'm also trying to work on my weaknesses.

I really loved this post.

Ms.O said...

Aww I love it!!! very positive! I have a book list, Have had one for a few yrs.. If you read any good African authors pls let me know!

bob-ij said...

Anyaposh! This is lovely. This notion is beautiful. I've waited for sign sometimes, not paying attention to the subtle indicators of beautiful things happening. But now I get that life really if a process. And I'm loving it.


Ginger said...

Anyaposh - Gal! that’s a load of books to get through. Can't say I read as much as I used to. No time to get lost in books. I will have to find time again. ADHD. Lol. Enjoy.
What do I need to work on - Stop selling myself short.
Increase my aptitude to take risks.
I need to learn to 'Just do it' like Nike and stop thinking of all the whos and whys and wherefores.
And with your hand firmly in the Master's, you will surely do fine!

Single and lovin it? Can't say yes, but Maximising the moment? Yes!!!

SHE said...

Good post!

My list has reading, travelling, and learning new languages. If I would only make a move in that direction.
Thanks though. I'm inspired.

so blu is ninja too said...

You have just read my mind, like really...
I'm still in amazed, every single word..
Let me know when you are travelling in west africa.. because I share that interest with you..

yankeenaijababe said...


I see you have been enjoying that movie, have you read the book, you should as well, such a great read...girl, you are on the right track to better things, proud of you. Muah!

Fragilelooks said...

i made a commitment to stick to the what the word of God said concerning me.

Azuka said...

Procrastination definitely. Something I need to get rid of.