Ink-BLOT...my subconscious rant

Did you ever take an ink-blot test? I took one a few years ago & it was pretty intense. I discovered that my subconscious is tuned into sexual thoughts of gratification. For example, sometimes when I think about something, it can automatically take on a sexual innuendo. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this tendency. There are a lot of people who think about sexual thoughts like me all the time. We are not that rare...but we are sacred. Yes, I said it...extraordinary people.

I'm really just bored and horny. Haven't got any in about 6 months. Body no be wood. Broke up with the X-Boy, trying to move on to other things, I can't be bothered. Today im fantasizing that i'm going to get some from him. Why? because I can. The p3nis was so good, I would sell my entire shoe collection to own it. And I have a lot of shoes.
You say not a reasonable offer? Ok, I'll sell my laptop too just to get it.
Still not good enough? frig, I'll even sell my roommate for a year's supply of d!ck. Kai and I love my roommate... :(
One thing I won't sell though is my soul. D!ck is not worth my precious soul.

X-Boy has said if I want his penis that badly, then we have to get back together. He says he misses me terribly and that he doesn't think there's anyone out there for him like me. I'm flattered but hell no.
We had too many complications in our history. 1st of all, his randy ass wasn't ready to get serious when I was with him. And I wasn't even asking for a diamond key to unlock my heart. I just wanted us to be in a committed & exclusive relationship. Is that too much to ask? I seriously doubt it.
It was a long-distance situation so he wanted to fuck around, y'know; get as much tail as he could with the ladies. But alas! homeboy has gotten with the program. Now he wants to own my uterus. Fuck that! I'm not about to surrender my vulva to anyone just yet. Just because you've had your fill of fornication doesn't mean i'd be waiting for you to come & rescue me. Why do some guys think that their love is worth a Universe? I mean seriously...i don't want you no more. I'd rather play by myself than think about ever shagging up with you again.

Anyhow...I'm ranting. And like I said, body no be wood. Plus being bored & horny doesn't help either. And I can't shag up with any random...there has to (or have been) some kinda affection there, y'know. I dunno how other people do it but one-night stands are definitely not my thing.
So yes, even after all my ranting I think I'm just going to get it from the X-Boy. yes, you heard me right. I have been d!ckmatized & I liked it.

P.S: I know my first paragraph & picture have absolutely nothing to do with this rant. But I don't care. I digress all the time. Tangents are my thing. Call me Anya-Tangentsia or Tangy-Anya... Anya & her ramblings... rants & raves by her royal highness: Anya Posh IV. Oh shit, i'm doing it again. Urrghh whatev.. have a good weekend, my fellow d!ck lovers!

P.P.S: This post is completely unlike me. I'll probably delete it very soon. I think I was under the influence of Ogbanje/Stress when I wrote this last night. But then I posted it anyway. What is wrong with me? HAHAHAHA!!!

P.P.P.S: And so the post stays up!

Nigerian Pubic Hair

"Same sex marriage, apart from being ungodly, is also unscriptural, unnatural, unprofitable, unhealthy, uncultural, un-African and un-Nigerian," - The Anglican Church of Nigeria.

Yes, I personally believe that although same sex relations are unscriptual and uncultural, they are indeed profitable (if not, why would people do it...sex is sex - atleast somebody cums in the end), can be healthy (condoms, dental dams, monogamous partnerships), Africans do it & Nigerians are no exception.

Today, I was reading the news about how the Nigerian Government has bid to outlaw same sex marriages. What is all this fuss about anyway??? You can outlaw it, but people are still going to engage in those relationships.

Personally, I have seen gay men & women in action in Abuja. In Wuse market, I saw 2 igbo-speaking men sitting together holding hands & smiling at each other sheepishly. Then one of them proceeded to sit on the other's lap. If that is not overt gayness, then I dunno what is. Similarly, there are lesbians in Nigeria. Ask any girl who went to one of those all-girls' boarding school & I bet you they would have a lot of stories about girl on girl action. So the issue is no longer about whether there are gay/bisexual people in Nigeria. The underlying tension is why people get so agitated & are trying to criminalise such diabolical taboo relations.

So how do we solve this one? Do you think this is a case where the State is prying too much into the affairs of the Nation's bedrooms? Or is this a case of maintaining Nigerian government's hypocritical stance, that homosexuality does not exist in Nigeria?

I know this issue is insanely controversial, especially in the Nigerian community, but I don't care. Speak to it.

xoxo Anya

Thai-Style Egg Fried RIce

My dear bloggerians, I have a confession to make.



I did not creatively come up with that fried rice on my own. I found the recipe online. Click here for the best tutorial in video format. That demonstration is better than anything I could've written for you. Plus, it's really easy to make too. In fact, because I'm so bored with Nigerian dishes & the ingredients are really hard to come by, I have resigned to the mainstream grocery store to fulfill my nutrition needs. For me, it started becoming a real chore to drive for about 2hrs to get to an "ethnic" food store in either Toronto, Brampton, or Mississauga just to find pounded yam, or crayfish, or uyayak, or palm oil, e.t.c.

Anyhow, these days I eat whatever's handy...lots of pitas, wraps, salads, pot roast, indian cuisine, & so on. My new housemate is from Hong Kong, so recently we've been swapping cooking secrets & meals too :D He makes amazing things I tell ya! The man can cook. So I hope you're able to make this Thai-style egg fried rice, it was really delicious.



Anya

P.S: Goodluck

I didn't forget...

I didn't forget to blog. I've visited several blogs, even commented profusely on some of them but I haven't felt the push to post an entry of my own here. I don't know what it is. I've had interesting things happening in my life recently; so much to talk about but none of them seemed blog-worthy.
I bet those people who know me will beg to differ because some pretty serious things have happened. Anyway, I think those things are irrelevant right now.

So what do we talk about today? Well, today is a public holiday - Family Day, in Canada. The Canadian government had to create an excuse so that people will spend time with their loved ones. Well, i'm not complaining, I needed this break too. It's a good break from work, grad school stress, and the daily routine oF my mundane life.

Oh in other news, Valentine's day has come & gone. It was uneventful here but I hardly even noticed. As a newly single gal, I thought it would be devastating but so far it was OK. I was too busy with homework to get the blues. My X-man called to chat proposing that we get back together. Now why on earth will I do that?! Garrgghh....like being alone on valentines would persuade me into running back into his waiting hands. God forbid! I've had enough of stress with that emotional rollercoaster. I have better things to do with myself these days.

Anyhow, moving on. So to get things going here again, I will respond to the tags I got a few weeks ago and then I will go make myself some dinner. Tonight i'm thinking Thai-style fried rice with roast pork on the side. Mmm mmm....good!

;) Anya

The Year of the Bitch

Happy New Year Everyone!!!

If you haven't noticed already or felt the tinge of excitement in the air, 2009 is going to be amazing! I don't know exactly why just yet - but I do know that it is going to be a wonderful year. A year that will be equally challenging & invigorating. Cheers to the next 11/12 months!

As the title says, i'm tagging '09 as the year to re-showcase my inner Bitch. She's been stuck in the closet of Self for far too long now. So you may be wondering, what's Anya on about with this bitch-talk, well let me explain it to ya:

This is the year of *Being* In *Total* Control *of* Herself

This abbreviation was coined by Dr. V. Ashley but it has sufficed to fit perfectly with the way I'm going to attack approach this year. I've had enough of my own passivity in taking control of my life & the things that really matter. I've had enough of being a super-agreeable person but hurting myself in the process. I've had it with being too accomodating, too tolerant, too nice (too let's-keep-the-peace-don't-wanna-hurt-nobody's-precious-feelings!) - Oh, Anya's such a good listener...yada yada yada. I've had it with taking on everyone's problems; over-burdening myself with everyone's mishaps & forgetting to deal with my own problems. Enough! Enough!! Enough!!! ENOUGH!!!!!.
This is my time to quit whining about my hesitation to burst out the Bitch & just f**king DO IT!

So let me introduce myself, my name is Anya BadAssBitchIV Posh. I'm too opinionated, too assertive, too realistic, too über awesome for all your bullsh!t.

-A. Posh
Proud Member, Heartless Bitches International