ThisTuesday

I came to blog today but I couldn't think of anything sensible to say. I'll be back with more details on my desire to go on a personal Pilgrimage.

Pilgrimage [pil-gruh-mij] - any long journey, especially one undertaken as a quest or for a votive purpose, as to pay homage: a pilgrimage to the grave of Shakespeare.

I need to make a vow with my Self to go on a quest for life. 

Some of my Favourite Things

And in no particular order....

1. Snuggling in the dead of Winter/ Harmattan: with that special someone. This happens preferably after dinner when we're both satiated and content. It's great to just spoon on the couch watching T.V not saying too much.

2. Making a Connection: You know how sometimes you actually take the time out to get to know someone (this applies to both sexes). And you learn about the person's hobbies and what they enjoy doing for fun. It's such a magical moment when you connect with them at the level of that thing that makes them tick. It can be a Eureka! moment (as in, wow, this person and I are so similar) or a WHOA! moment (like 'where've you been all my life?' or 'wow, I could never be friends with someone who thinks like this' or who does 'such & such'). I like making connections.

3. Passionate Sex: Yes, you knew this was cumming. But I'll only sex when there's love. You know the kind of sex I'm talking about? That type you only do with someone you're truly in love with and the love is mutual. And it's an exclusive relationship. Sex is a good thing.

4. Achievements: Sometimes do you just sit back and think of your personal accomplishments? Like mentally dust off and polish your accolades? Do you take pride in yourself and say, 'wow I've come a long way'? I don't mean this in a proud way, but I think you need to take time to give yourself credit every day. Don't sell yourself short. You are not were you used to be.

 

Michael Phelps after winning 8 medals in 2008.

 

5. On-line shopping for expensive shit: LOL! this one is a seasonal favourite for me. Every so often, I'll want to splurge on a pricey-enough-to-pay-my-rent kinda shoe. Like check what is scratching my wallet right now:

Miu Miu Studded-Heel Platform Pump

I like inexpensive stuff too. Some of my favourite sites are Forever21, GoJane (but you'll pay import duties when you ship to Canada),  ModCloth, and  Zappos. Remember to drop me a note with your favourite online shopping sites.

6.  Good Books: I find reading great books so selfishly fulfilling! It's incredible to be able to get lost in a story, occasionally come up for air and then dive back in again. See the books I'll be reading in a few weeks in this post.

7.  Laughing: I must say that I laugh at the most random things. Two nights ago, I saw this guy sneakily scratching his balls in the club. And I burst out laughing. He saw me, I saw him. But I couldn't help myself. I felt like an accomplice in the itch. It was too funny!

8. Re-discovering Old Music: Listening to Usher's 8701 album was pure bliss last week. When you listen to old music, it takes you back to a time of your life and you get re-immersed in the moment. For me when 8701 came out, I was crushing on my neighbour big time! I used to think about him all the time, frankly I was obsessed with the boy. I was 14. He was 16. It was a big deal. So when I heard that album again, it took me way back and I felt like a teenager bursting with hormonal imbalances.

9. Getting private Facebook messages: It's so cute to see someone take their time to type out a really long essay for your viewing pleasure. The length of a message says much...

10. International Travel: Put me on a plane and I'm off! I go right to sleep. I think flying is so relaxing. I hate plane food but the thrill of being airborne is simply satisfying. 

Single & Lovin' it?

I had an epiphany. 

I need to be true to myself. I need to listen to my body, my thoughts, my emotions, my mind. 

There is no unchart-able territory in my heart/mind.  I must not be afraid to explore the deep darkness of my mind/heart/body/soul.

I must do everything I can to remain happy, preserve my sanity, and enjoy life. 

Who said that being single was bad/boring/lonely/hell?

These may be the best years of my life!

So I made a bucket list of things to do in the interim while I'm waiting to exhale. I need to (in no particular order).......

1. Travel - Norway, Morocco, Germany, France, across West Africa

2. Learn - new things like new sports, a new language, new life/practical skills

3. Read - more recreational books, novels

4. Dream - dream big, take on new challenges, start a big-picture/macro project

I'm currently reading books by:

-John Steinbeck (Grapes of Wrath)

-Rohan Mistry (A Fine Balance), 

-Anton Chekhov (The Steppe)

To-do Book List:

- Blink by Malcolm Gladwell
- The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell
- Freakonomics by Stephen Dubner and Steven Levitt
- Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyer
- Conquering your Quarterlife Crisis
- Twenty-Something Manifesto
- Temple of My Familiar by Alice Walker
- The Autobiography of Malcolm X. 
- Wounds of Passion by bell hooks
- Bluest Eye
- A Woman's Worth by Tracy Price Thompson
- In the Spirit by Susan Taylor
- A Northern Light by Jennifer Donnelly
- The Glass Menagerie
- Brainwashed: Challenging the myths of black inferiority by Tom Burell 

- and many more books by African Authors.

This epiphany suddenly hit me because for a while back there, I had been feeling like I was waiting for something big to occur before my life would start "happening". I'm talking grand events, a big sign, thunder/lightning in the sky...

And in the past, I had a linear plan. Get into school. Do my graduate research. Finish my dissertation. Get a job. Get hitched. Birth youngins...etc. But I couldn't help thinking that there's gotta be more to life than...

Anyway, in my linear plan, I didn't allot time for true personal growth or the pursuit of spirituality. I just assumed these things would happen along the way as a consequence of all the other plans I was carrying out. So it turned out that there was growth in many areas of my life but yet so many more areas of me still need work. 

I know. I'm a masterpiece in progress.

So here I am, on September 1st, 2010, doing a much-needed reassessment of my life. And saying to myself that I have to make a concerted effort to actually live my life. I re-pledge to live deliberately from this moment. That is, to be an active agent of my own change and not that which is acted upon.

So if you're reading this entry, what areas of you still need work? And what are you doing to grow as a person?