Thursday, December 13, 2007

A Letter for Tei "Anya" Kaine

I broke up with my lover a few weeks ago and in the days after I started second-guessing my actions. So I wrote this letter to myself as an assurance:

Dear Anya,

There's no need to second-guess yourself at this moment. You know you have done the right thing. Are you not relieved from all that stress, all the worrying, the emotional roller-coaster, the uncertainties, the lies, the deceit, the heartbreak, broken promises, the neglect, the burden, the pain?
Sometimes, it is just better for things to take their natural know, reach their natural end. If this is what it took, then that's what it took. You must be assured in your heart that you will not make the same mistake again. This is how you can learn from your experience and make very positive adjustments. You're a strong woman, I've never doubted that, but you cannot put yourself through the self-torment & torture of never knowing what else was out there. It is regrettable, but now you have put an X on the situation. A well-deserved X.

You've done yourself a great service, your mom will be so pleased. I believe that you will meet someone else, someone better and worth your efforts. Someone who treasures a rare gem. Perhaps this was a necessary step in your development. Maybe this way you can learn to truly appreciate who you meet next. You'll never know until you take the chance. And trust me hun, it's the chance of a lifetime!

Loving you so much,


Queen of My Castle said...

I love this letter to self. Trust your inner-self, she a smart chic! I do think that after this relationship, you will value the next one because you now know what you want as well as what you will and will not accept the next time around.

Niomo said...

Oh nice. I think i'm gonna try that everytime I made a decision and I begin to doubt myself. Nice letter.

pam said...

This is good to read. Its hard to do things that are good for you. I know how hard so congratulations and trust that the hurt will go.

Thanks for your comments on my blog. Your stories whether graphic or messy are welcome. The dealine has passed though but ill forward what you send just in case. or

AnyaPosh said...

@ Queen of my castle: It's been a serious journey but I'm learning to listen to that inner voice. When I doubt something and my intuition is screaming to me about someone's character, i'm learning to listen.
@ Niomo: I do it all the time! It's one of the ways I remind myself why I do the things I do.
@ Pam: thanks gurl. That's so true though. It shouldn't be this hard to do the right thing for yourself.

Koisha's JouRneY said...

mhen that letter was crucial!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i guess its a good way of facin reality of decisions we sometimes make in life n want to question when times crawls

UnNaked Soul said...

the inner voice of reasoning... sweet and wise.

little miss me said...

great letter to self,sometimes all we need is a little shake from our inner self to put us back in shape..wish you all the best with finding a better man.

Anonymous said...

Hey, you left a comment on my blog Ontherightside (which I have neglected once school started again). Which school in Montreal are you going to? McGill?

AnyaPosh said...

@ Koisha: When life gets crucial, you need crucial measures to cope.
@Unnaked Soul: You know these things...listen to your head not your heart.
@lil' miss me: Thank you!!
@Daniel: Yes, McGill - see you in the poli sci dept!


Hmmmm, cool approach to analyzing the situation. Writing sometimes forces us to focus in a way that merely thinking does not. Nice touch!