A wise man said:
"Iron rusts from disuse, stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen,
even so does inaction sap the vigors of the mind"
- Leonardo da Vinci
My mind has been somewhat inactive for a while now. I had been doing the same things for a long time; expecting different results and hoping to experience change in my situation. For example, I was so busy writing my dissertation for a little over a year back there that I was only reading books and articles in my field, plus I was caught up in a wrong romantic situation, and didn't take the chance to stretch my outlook on life.
This went on for a while until something snapped! I started feeling stagnant, I started feeling mentally weary, fagged out, depressed (the magic word!). I knew I had to re-evaluate my life, I knew I needed to review my choices, and I knew I had to give up some good things so that better things would come along. I knew I needed to change.
Somebody said "life is too short, then you die". At the rate I was going, my soul knew that I was just waiting to die. I had resigned to fate, stopped dreaming, and hoped that at least I could just exist. I was taking everything for granted. Do you see where I'm going with this?
I became complacent. So for example, even in that wrong relationship where I knew he was cheating/going to cheat, I stayed in it because I thought he would outgrow the habit and learn to truly commit. I figured he was the only one for me, so we would just patch things along then eventually get hitched! Yeah, great idea, Anya! You really planned out that one well. I was being complacent.
Another example, in my grad school work, I started putting in the minimal amount of work. I no longer cared if I published or not. I was bored. I just wanted to get by. I thought to myself: nobody cares about what you have to say, people are too vain to get it. I was wrong! People did want to hear what I had to say, I was very relevant.
They say hindsight is 20/20. Well, I concur. What was I thinking back then? I had filled my mind with too much rubbish to notice I was infected. I was sick with Fear. My blood was toxic with Complacency.Today I know different. I can feel the life rushing through me. I feel like I just recovered some lost limbs. I can walk, I can run, I can fly. I can dream.
So I must tell you -- if you can dream, dream BIG. Live your life with passion. Don't take people for granted; better yet, don't take yourself for granted. I know it's cliche, but honestly, you have one life to live. Explore your options. Seize every opportunity. Be thankful. Then just breathe.
I took this picture of one of the roses in my backyard. So pretty :)
