A List of Ridiculous Things!

1. People buying more than they can afford. Swipe, Swipe, Swipe. They will say: “um, that’ll be on visa”, “try the AMEX”, “I think I’ll put it on MASTERCARD”. Financial baggage is not cute. Debt is a disease. It steals your peace, costs you unnecessary interest, and ruins your credit score. So the next time you enter Zara or Guess or H&M (my own pitfalls), think again before you swipe. Like my Dad used to say, "cut your cloak according to your cloth".

2. People who love animals more than people. I actually had to apologize for laughing when a co-worker said her family had a funeral procession for their cat. Just to put this in perspective, their youngest family member is 27, so there were no children involved in that procession --ROFL. Some people pay way too much attention to their animals than they do other people like  their neighbours and friends. My friend’s roommate paid $2000 to put her dog in “dog boarding school” while she was away for 2weeks! When I heard, I laughed so hard I think I peed a little. I mean, what is the point! In my mind, I say pay me that 2K and I’ll show your dog a good time. Some people never give to charitable causes but they can spend money; some up to $2500 annually in owning a dog. The irony. Mostly oyinbo people are guilty of this kind of affection.

3. People wearing stilettos trying to walk on ice. That's about one of the dumbest things I witness every winter in this land, the True North strong and free

4. People scantily clad in -30C weather. This is a follow-up to my previous ridiculous thing. We live in fr***ing C A N A D A! (read: freezing canada). Please put some clothes on. The eskimos got it right, they knew you couldn't be looking cute in -35C while showing bare legs. So don't fool yourself. We all see your goose flesh in that mini-skirt. #stupid 
   

5. People who chew food – gobble it down! You may not be able to relate but I think chewing food is overrated. You can just swallow it down. After all, pythons do it and live - therefore, so can you! So the next time you’re eating that plate of beans, don’t chew. Just swallow. You’ll be amazed when it comes out in whole bits at the other end. Works for me every time. I stay smiling. (disclaimer: I don't actually just swallow food. I chew on occasion

6. People refusing help when they clearly need it. Some people have real problems, I tell ya. Sometimes these people are random strangers you meet or they could be friends/acquaintances that could use a helping hand in some way. But oftentimes they turn down all support offered to them. I often wonder if its pride, but then I know it’s stupidity. If you need help. Get help. In fact, take help. But they gently refuse and continue struggling on. Let me share this story from work. My colleague had some trouble with an excel spreadsheet that was taking him hours to fix and wasting valuable time. I tried to offer help but he wouldn’t accept, saying he would figure it out. Ok now. Fast-forward 4 hours later, why did my manager assign the same file to me to finish? My colleague struggled for nothing without success. I’m not sure, maybe he thought as a man he could figure it out by himself (intitutively, ofcourse). Or maybe he was thinking “what can this black woman teach me that i can’t find on google?” Oya, find it now? No, he couldn't!. See wasted effort.

7. People chooking* up randomly. You may include raw chookers in this category. For chrissakes, why do some people think they’re immune to gonorrhoea or syphilis? Or even HIV? It baffles me. In this era of female assertiveness and equality, some ladies have simply chosen to forget self-restraint and decency. It’s not every man that gives you attention, takes you shopping or buys you dinners that you’ll open leg for. And for guys as well, it’s not every randy thought that pops in your head that you must kpansh away. My mother always said that the biggest remedy to unwanted (or unfulfillable) sexy thoughts is to ignore them. You read right. You CAN ignore it. Same thing with people who pick up at the club, um...don’t?! #nasty. In the end, people will do what they want. So if you do chook up, please condomize your life! 

*Chooking: sexing, f**king, kpanshing,