Anya Posh

Gone Til November

2011-11-23T11:00:00.002-05:00

Hello.....Hello (crickets chirping)...anybody there? Despite being AWOL from the blog scene, trust that I've been keeping abreast of the happenings in blogosphere, however lurking in the shadows quietly trolling the virtual boroughs and alleys ~~looking for blood~~. ahem*

Anyway, I just thought to pop in before the cobwebs take over this place. Too much is going on in my life right now. It's complicated and exciting and nerve-wracking at the same time.

I thought that I'll be gone only till November but it looks like I will continue my blog in a series of trickles.

2011 is almost over. Phew, what a year! Happy (American) Thanksgiving, Black Friday, and Christmas shopping.

P.S: It's snowing....*yawn*

Serenade (Naeto C - 5&6)

2011-10-06T22:00:00.000-04:00

This video makes me think of my boo....

Hope

2011-09-24T23:18:00.001-04:00

What do you do when you can't do anything else? How do you remain hopeful when you're down in the Valley? I once heard a saying that the best way to be happy is to practice 'Love and Gratitude'; apparently that's the fantastic duo to live a fulfilling life. But what about 'Hope'? I think there should be a fantastic trio of Love, Gratitude, and Hope. That's because I get love, and I see the importance of gratitude. But I believe 'hope' takes it to a whole other level. Or what do you think?

Official Drop-out of the 30-Day Challenge

2011-09-02T16:07:00.000-04:00

Hi Everyone,

Without more ado, I must pull out of this challenge. Honestly, I got bored and even felt like I was cheating if I wanted to post about anything else on here.

So that's it. I quit.

In other news, I am going back to the reason why I started blogging in the first place. And that was to share my thoughts in a creative outlet, no matter how ironic, radical, or unpopular they may be.And to speak on things that appeal to my nature; philosophy, make-up, romance, food, politics, and faith.

I hope you stick around for updates. Have a good weekend!

A.P

Day 20: My fears

2011-08-19T12:28:00.014-04:00

Eureka! I've reached the 20th entry in this 30 day challenge. Today's challenge question ask that I share my fears with you. Here they are in no particular order:

1. Madness
2. Snakes
3. Air & water-borne diseases
4. Obesity
5. War

***

Arrrgghh....I'm tired of this challenge. kai who send me message?! Anyway, I want to drop out of this 30 Day Challenge. Truth be told, many times I didn't enjoy answering these challenge questions or sometimes it just felt forced. But I guess that's the whole point of a 'challenge' - forcing you to do more than you would have normally. Anyhow, if anything, I may end up posting the remaining 10 days randomly in between my regular blog posts.

I hope everyone had a good week. TGIF!

Day 19: Five items I lust after

2011-08-11T23:27:00.019-04:00

1. A sexy grown-ass living space. I'm renovating my apartment at the moment and have been getting all kinds of inspiration from condo decor showrooms...but na moni make am :(

2. iPad 2 -- I don't need it but today's challenge question clearly spelled out L U S T. cc: Consumers Anonymous

3. 2011 Toyota Camry - yes, I'm being modest. I'm not lusting after anything too luxurious like a BMW or a Benz (insurance is a b!tch). I just want something modest. Is there any such thing as a modest lust? Anya go big or go home.

4. Vacation package to Paris, France ...or ...Positano, Italy...or somewhere delicious in the Caribbean, Anguilla maybe? :)) My God, I need this lust to become a reality.

5. Johnny Depp in ~~only~~ an apron holed up in my kitchen ~~going hard at the stove~~ cooking up a storm. Don't judge. I like what I like. It could look something like this ;)

Day 18: A problem I've had...

2011-08-10T17:57:00.000-04:00

Haha! Today's challenge question is quite daft. So of all the problems I have encountered in this life, I am supposed to pick ONE and share it with you? LOL.

Anyway, I've had problems. I mean, serious problems in this life. Where could I possibly begin? Do you want to hear about the time I was hallucinating for 2 weeks? Or the time I almost died? Or the time self-esteem issues nearly drove me mad? Or the time I thought I was going blind? Or the time I felt like I was becoming a real-life mermaid? Or the time I thought I was invincible? Or the time my heart became an ice-box (literally)? Or the time I wanted to check into an institution? Or the time I thought I could join the army? Or the time I thought my parent's marriage was falling apart? Or the time I considered being a college drop-out??

I don't know which one of these problems to pick. But let me tell you this: problems come and go. Life can throw you all kinds of inconveniences, to say the least. In the end, if you think about your problems as 'challenges' to be surmounted, you stand a better chance of getting through with a winning attitude.

Day 17: Something that I'm proud of

2011-08-09T13:26:00.000-04:00

I'm proud of the enduring quality of my parent's marriage. They've been together for almost 40 years and I think that's impressive! Together, they've weathered many storms, given me and my siblings incredible lives, and managed to still keep it together all these years.

I pray that I meet a special man who has the lasting quality to go the distance with me. Oh, I may have found him already ;)

Day 16: Something I always say "what if..." about

2011-08-08T22:25:00.001-04:00

Today's challenge question is right up my alley because I often ask myself "what if" questions. For example, the other day I was talking to one of my girlfriends and we kept busy contemplating the question: 'what if things were different?'

After our talk, I mostly kept on droning asking myself so many questions like: what if I wasn't born into my family? what if I didn't go to my alma mater? what if I became a superstar? what if I wasn't born African? what if I was born disabled? what if afrocentrism was the hegemonic worldview? what if I actually tried at something for once in my life? what if we all did our best in everything? what if I made different choices at every turning point in my life?

But enough of the mental hopscotch. Today, I only ask myself "what if I could do anything - how would I change my reality, heck how will I change the world?

Day 15: My Zodiac/Horoscope and if I think it fits my personality

2011-08-04T14:30:00.001-04:00

I just did a whole bunch of ~~occultic digging~~ research about my zodiac sign. According to Greek astrology, Scorpio is acclaimed to be the "most powerful sign"; a water sign, anciently ruled by Mars but ruled by Pluto in modern, of the eight house, and one of the fixed signs. So what does this all mean, anyway?

According to astrology-dot-com (I'll share only the parts I like):

"The curiosity of Scorpios is immeasurable, which may be why they are such adept investigators. These folks love to probe and know how to get to the bottom of things. The fact that they have a keen sense of intuition certainly helps".

"Fearless Scorpios rarely lose; they just keep on going, since they are stubborn and determined to succeed"

"The Scorpio-born are powerful and passionate, qualities that serve them well...[they] love competition in both work and play...their great strength is their determination, passion and motivation. Scorpios don't know the word quit, which is why they usually get the job done"

***

So do I think this description fits my personality? Well, I'll only accept the good traits and fast-forward all the negative traits associated with the sign. Some of those negative portrayals of the Scorpio include: [she] is vindictive, lustful, possessive, jealous, self-indulgent, repressed emotions, etc. etc

But like I said, I fast-forward through all the negative b.s. because it doesn't define my personality. In fact, every sign under the Sun has the capacity and propensity to be a little jealous or lustful or vengeful or even repress their emotions on occasion. So it's not just a scorpio thing per se. Ok, I'm done.

Day 14: What I wore today

2011-08-03T22:24:00.006-04:00

Today was rather uneventful. I stayed at home for most of the day working on editing a book and working on job applications. Then I hung out with my friend, her son and husband. We grabbed gelato for dessert. This is essentially what I wore, sans the hefty designer prices.

Black Dresses by Halston
Sandals by Charles David

Day 13: My Opinion about my Body and how I feel about it

2011-08-03T10:18:00.000-04:00

I love my body. It's been with me through these 20-odd something years. I love it with every scar; self-inflicted and accidental. Each mark leaves me a story to tell my children. Standing at an awesome 5'5" ~~with dimples, wife potential~~ {shout out to Diddy}, I see the world from my eyes, myopic and astigmatized*. I embrace life with these hands, currently lacquered with gold-speckled brown nail polish. I haul around poundage in the normal range for my BMI proportions, but in my opinion, I could still benefit from shedding about 10-15 pounds. However, I fear that my boobage - high and perky at a 34D; would deflate with additional weight-loss. Anya, it seems like you can't have it all after all. Anyhow, that's the least of my worries.

In truth, I'm thankful for the body I've been given. I don't have any major ailments, conditions, or disorders. My body has been good to me. And I hope it sticks around for the long haul, I say about 80 or 90 more years give or take!

P.S:
astigmatized

Day 12: Five Guys Whom I Find Attractive

2011-07-13T13:19:00.000-04:00

Ok! I'm loving this challenge question. Drumrolllllll pleaseeee (in no particular order):

Johnny Depp

P-Square

Chris Hemsworth (as 'Thor')

Idris Elba

Chris Brown

Day 11: My Family

2011-07-08T23:41:00.001-04:00

My family is awesome. My parents are baby boomers, my siblings were born during the reign of flower power, and I am the youngest; a child of the eighties.

My Dad was and still is a looker. Tall, lean-muscle, handsome. My Mom is gorgeous: petite, flawless skin, dimples, and has the vivaciousness of a shark! They met in college, University of Nigeria. They fell in love. And the rest is history. My siblings came in all shapes and colours. My brothers are gentlemen, down-to-earth, manly men. My sisters are pretty, overbearing, and downright hilarious. My siblings and I grew up really close and shared many things in common. But over time, things changed. I moved away for school. Life happened. My brother got married. My sister got married. Suddenly, I'm an Aunty and my parents are grand-parents. My family is changing. I am changing. And this is why life is beautiful - change happens and we are a part of it.

Day 10: Put your Music Player on shuffle and write the first 10 songs that play

2011-07-07T22:07:00.002-04:00

1. DJ Got Us Falling in Love Again - Usher/Pitbull
2. Firework - Katy Perry
3. My Love - Celine Dion
4. Pere - D'banj
5. Successful - Drake ft. Trey Songs
6. Without You - Chris Brown
7. Kondo - Dagrin
8. Something About The Way You Look Tonight - Elton John
9. Imagine - Glee
10. Gangsta's Paradise - Coolio

P.S:
Anyone who thinks doing this 30-Day Challenge is still easy for me, should think again. It's been hard to sit here and write. But thanks to this perseverance, I will remain committed. Besides I don't really have to think too much anyway ;) So how's your July coming along?

Day 9: How important I think Education is?

2011-07-03T21:22:00.001-04:00

...despite the odd wording of that question for today's challenge request, I must continue.

Yes, I have been MIA for sometime. I've been "away" in spirit, attending to matters of the mind and heart. The thing is I actually have a penchant for writing but I can't seem to do it on here consistently. I find myself constantly distracted by everything in general but nothing in particular. But no excuses today, let's get on with it. So how important do I think education is?

Well, it depends. First, let's take a look at famous drop-outs:

Microsoft, Bill Gates.
G.O.O.D Music, Kanye West
Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg
CNN, Ted Turner (was actually expelled)*
Oil Magnate, Sheikh Mohammed Hussein Al Amoudi

Second, notice that most of the prominent and successful drop-outs out there are men!

So unless you have a million dollar idea; you have the personal drive, zeal, or motivation to fight for your dreams; you have an extraordinary talent; you are an heiress; you marry into money; or you win the lottery, I suggest you sit your ass in school and get that degree because your wits/parchment are pretty much all you've got going for you.

But don't be discouraged if you haven't cracked the next algorithm to give us the world's super computer or if the world has not discovered your melodious voice which puts Beyonce's/Mariah Carey's/J-Hud's voice to shame. You, just keep on trying where you are. One day na one day, the world will find you. But until then, go to school. You can even pretend like you're learning something while you're at it.

--
Reference:
* - Wikipedia

Day 8: What you ate today

2011-06-26T21:49:00.000-04:00

Well, today I basically scavenged my way around my kitchen for most of the day until dinner, when I made a proper meal. This is a run-down of everything that went into my mouth.

10:30am - 2 vanilla cookies
1:45pm - hamburger (BBQ at church)
1:55pm - slice of cake
3:00pm - 4 crackers and a vodka cooler
5:30pm - 2 cups of water
7:00pm - 2 dried apricots
7:05pm - 3 tortilla chips
7:10pm - 4 cubes of frozen Dairy Milk chocolate ...yum!
7:44pm - 1 cup of water
8:15pm - Sauteed salmon, veggies, and fries
9:00pm - Bag of popcorn (100 calories!)
9:15pm - 1 cup of water

.....the day is not over, so I may still chow down some cake/ice-cream or grab a slab of cheese as a healthier alternative. And yes, I eat my emotions when I'm upset. But from Monday to Saturday, you will find me at the gym facing them head on. What exciting thing did you eat today?

P.S: This was my 8:15pm appointment ;)

Day 7: Five Pet Peeves

2011-06-25T21:23:00.000-04:00

In no particular order:

1. When people spit out mucus on the street/sidewalk (you know that thick kind) ....ewww nasty! O_o

2. Walking through a park in high-heels....your heels dig into the mud, then you end up rocking "chunky heels". ugh.

3. Pigeons. Don't these buggers carry rabies and all kinds of diseases?! I don't think they're cute.

4. Heavy periods. nuffsaid!

5. Slow internet. Since I've been spoiled with warp speed internet, it's unbearable to deal with average download times....like plucking out your own teeth unbearable.

Day 6: Your Views on Mainstream Music

2011-06-18T23:18:00.000-04:00

I think it's aite. There's some pretty dope schit out there there. Y'all remember that track with T.I and Yung Dro "Ain't I"? ughhh man, that track was the flyness. Ok, I dunno why I'm typing in ebonics, but that's how I feel about mainstream music

Day 5: Things you want to say to your Ex

2011-06-15T23:52:00.002-04:00

Honestly, it started off as a distraction. I didn't know I was in love with you. I didn't think you would make me cry blood and tears. If I knew, I wouldn't have stayed with you that long.

We didn't need the games. We didn't need the heartbreak.
We didn't know how much we were hurting ourselves.
You shouldn't have been selfish. You shouldn't have lied to me.
I shouldn't have believed you. I shouldn't have kept on loving you.

We should have been honest. We should have been true.
I used to hate myself for being so naive, not anymore.

I think not of those shoulds, woulds, or coulds.
My only thoughts: "...time and chance happen to them all" (Ecc. 9:11) .

Day 4: Bullet Your Whole Day

2011-06-13T06:01:00.003-04:00

Today was rather uneventful so it will be relatively easy to give you a breakdown of my day. Here goes:

9:00am - alarm went off. It's a sunday, I deserved to sleep-in

10:20am - got to church 20mins late. Trying not to make this a habit.

12:00pm - went to teach my Sunday school kids. I teach about 15 kids aged 5-10 year olds. On some days it's terribly stressful but it can be so rewarding as well.

1:15pm - church is over, greet a few people. Dash home for lunch because I'm starving.

2:00pm - well fed. Sitting in front of the TV, mindlessly...daydreaming of the future, facebooking.

4:00pm - got off the couch, do some yoga and core-strength training. Turn on some soca music, got my exercise on!

7:00pm - hungry again; grab leftover chicken curry and rice from the fridge.

7:25pm - got on the phone with my sister (catching up, she had me reeling with laughter).

8:00pm - on the phone with my boyfriend (long-distance romance)...did this for over 2 hours! Love. yeah.

10:23pm - ignored a call from a colleague. Why are you calling me at this time? Haven't you heard only close friends and family can call after 9pm.

12:30am - got under my duvet. time to catch some Zzz!

So there you have it. This Sunday was below average on my activity scale but meh. Tomorrow is another day! How did you spend your Sunday?

Day 3: A Book I love

2011-06-11T14:15:00.000-04:00

Today's '30 Day Challenge' request is asking me to commit literary infidelity of monstrous proportions against some of the most magnificent books I've read. Out of all the books I've read which had lasting impacts on my life journey, I'm supposed to pick one?? umm..ok. Click here, here, here, and here to see other books I enjoyed tremendously.

One book which I particularly enjoyed was by Swiss-German author, Herman Hesse's 'Narcissus and Goldmund' (1930). It is an incredible story with many life lessons for friendship, adventure, conformity, freedom, and truth. The book has been described as a raging battle between flesh and spirit. It appealed to me on so many levels; made me question my path, and even brought me to tears at different points in the story - but that is not special, I tear up easily!

Anyway, you can sample the book here from Amazon. You can also check out wikipedia's blurb on the book.

Day 2: Something I feel strongly about

2011-06-06T09:29:00.037-04:00

As a concerned Global Citizen, I feel strongly about many things. In fact, I am passionate about too many things; it`s hard to single out just one. But today, I am going to share on my passion for sub-Saharan Africa.

A wise person said `Africa is not poor, Africa is just poorly managed`. In my view, Africa is the classic case of a series of unfortunate events. In theatre, this Continent has all the elements of a successful Tragedy - many paradoxes abound along with human suffering. For example, the abundance of natural wealth and resources juxtaposed with the prevalence of poverty is one. Or the abundance of human resources and potential manpower alongside low-skilled labour and people with very many desperate needs.

Continent of Potentials

Remember your elementary school teacher who often said Student A was so full of potential. Fast-forward 10-15 years later. You see that somehow Student A did not amount to much, and just fell by the wayside. Potential don`t mean much if you don`t have the drive, ambition, or a strong desire to succeed. It`s even harder to succeed when you don`t have a stable support system or people rooting for you. Useful analogy. Africa is like Student A. So full of promise. Yet, something is amiss.

I could go on about this paradox of plenty* but right now I don`t feel the urge to write a personal essay on the topic. The facts are apparent. You don`t need me to tell you Africa needs help. And I don`t mean international intervention. Africa needs homegrown help, sustainable organic intervention by its own citizens. A helping hand by the familiar, agents for change who have a personal vested interest in Africa`s success.

Idealism

I have idealized the kind of help Africa should get. But with the state of things, very impoverished regions could use help from anywhere they can get it, including transnational corporate investment. So long as there are tools to ensure fair deals and mitigate against exploitatory tendencies.

Endnotes
* - a paper I have been working on for over 14 months and the crux of the main argument.

Day 1: 5 Ways to Win My Heart

2011-06-03T15:29:00.002-04:00

To begin my `30 Day Challenge` (see previous post), I`m starting off with 5 tried and true ways to win my heart. I believe that in male-female relationships, things can get complicated very quickly. So in my dating life, I`ve taken out the guess work and simplified things by deducing a list of qualities which seem to be working for me.

Please note that these qualities are in addition to physical appearance. And for me, physical appearance includes his height, weight, build, accent, swag*, and style. As a vain child, looks grab my attention. But a possession of the qualities listed below will determine whether or not my attention is retained. Yes girls, you`ve gotta act like a lady but thing like a man!

* - swag refers to that quality in a man that can`t quite be described. You`ve gotta see it to believe it ;)

The List:

1. Engage my mind first - I'm a complete sucker for geeky & nerdy types. I love intelligence, I love brilliance. If you have both; you've already got my attention!

2. Dazzle me with your personality - it's O.K to be yourself. If you quirky and sarcastic; that's alright too. Just let your personality shine through.

3. Make me laugh - I love a funny guy. If your sense of humour is cordial and sometimes you push the envelope, I can get into that. Being funny is more than just cracking a few recycled jokes. It's about continuity even through those down times.

4. Be your own person - do you have a hobby? are you doing something you enjoy? If I can explore your world, you become fascinating. Be the best version of yourself, not a phony replica of someone else. No one can do you like you do!

5. Always tell the truth - Yes, even when the truth hurts, let me hear it. I can handle it. If you're honest with yourself and you're honest with me, I dig that. Integrity is sexy.

30 Day Challenge

2011-06-03T14:47:00.000-04:00

The Summer of 2011 is officially beginning (in my books!). I know I`ve been MIA for a some time now. Why is that whenever I come back here, I`m usually apologizing for being away? That needs to change.

I have a few MEMEs to do on here. But before then, I found this awesome distraction for blogger's writer's block over at the Flawless Mistake's blog. This will gimme something to yarn about. I'll get to it right away.

Here's to a fabulous summer ahead, cheers!

Dead Man Trending

2011-05-03T23:35:00.000-04:00

Hey folks, I've been going through a job transition so I haven't had that blog inspiration in a bit. But i'm back now, so let's keep it moving.

So today's post is about the death of Osama Bin Laden and the subsequent floodgate of facebook comments and status updates which fried my brain for the last 48 hours. I saw too many comments like 'Osama is DEAD!' 'Praise God, they have killed Osama' and 'Obama destroyed Osama!'. These kinds of comments kept flooding my newsfeed. It was just way too much.

Zuckerberg really needs to create that dislike thumbs-down feature on the site.

So my people, in this day and age where most people have the internet or at least have some kind of access to global media, why do some people take it upon themselves to be virtual towncrier? Me sef, I tire! In fact, yesterday's number two global trending topic was #osama, after #canadavotes. But na so we see am, dead man trending!

The 4ACES TV: Pakos VS. Buttas

2011-04-13T11:12:00.001-04:00

Today, I'm sharing a video from the gorgeous ladies at The 4ACES Date . They're on my list of blogs I absolutely adore. This is the second instalment in their series showcasing ajebutters and ajekpakos. It's super funny, check it out:

New Video: TY BELLO - The Future

2011-04-03T15:06:00.000-04:00

Hi Folks,

I got goose flesh watching this video, it's pure and inspirational. I hope it inspires you too, because God loves Nigeria and we are too precious to burn. Enjoy.

A List of Ridiculous Things!

2011-04-01T15:32:00.010-04:00

1. People buying more than they can afford. Swipe, Swipe, Swipe. They will say: “um, that’ll be on visa”, “try the AMEX”, “I think I’ll put it on MASTERCARD”. Financial baggage is not cute. Debt is a disease. It steals your peace, costs you unnecessary interest, and ruins your credit score. So the next time you enter Zara or Guess or H&M (my own pitfalls), think again before you swipe. Like my Dad used to say, "cut your cloak according to your cloth".

2. People who love animals more than people. I actually had to apologize for laughing when a co-worker said her family had a funeral procession for their cat. Just to put this in perspective, their youngest family member is 27, so there were no children involved in that procession --ROFL. Some people pay way too much attention to their animals than they do other people like their neighbours and friends. My friend’s roommate paid $2000 to put her dog in “dog boarding school” while she was away for 2weeks! When I heard, I laughed so hard I think I peed a little. I mean, what is the point! In my mind, I say pay me that 2K and I’ll show your dog a good time. Some people never give to charitable causes but they can spend money; some up to $2500 annually in owning a dog. The irony. Mostly oyinbo people are guilty of this kind of affection.

3. People wearing stilettos trying to walk on ice. That's about one of the dumbest things I witness every winter in this land, the True North ~~strong and free~~

4. People scantily clad in -30C weather. This is a follow-up to my previous ridiculous thing. We live in fr***ing C A N A D A! (read: freezing canada). Please put some clothes on. The eskimos got it right, they knew you couldn't be looking cute in -35C while showing bare legs. So don't fool yourself. We all see your goose flesh in that mini-skirt. #stupid

5. People who chew food – gobble it down! You may not be able to relate but I think chewing food is overrated. You can just swallow it down. After all, pythons do it and live - therefore, so can you! So the next time you’re eating that plate of beans, don’t chew. Just swallow. You’ll be amazed when it comes out in whole bits at the other end. Works for me every time. I stay smiling. (disclaimer: I don't actually just swallow food. I chew ~~on occasion~~

6. People refusing help when they clearly need it. Some people have real problems, I tell ya. Sometimes these people are random strangers you meet or they could be friends/acquaintances that could use a helping hand in some way. But oftentimes they turn down all support offered to them. I often wonder if its pride, but then I know it’s stupidity. If you need help. Get help. In fact, take help. But they gently refuse and continue struggling on. Let me share this story from work. My colleague had some trouble with an excel spreadsheet that was taking him hours to fix and wasting valuable time. I tried to offer help but he wouldn’t accept, saying he would figure it out. Ok now. Fast-forward 4 hours later, why did my manager assign the same file to me to finish? My colleague struggled for nothing without success. I’m not sure, maybe he thought as a man he could figure it out by himself (intitutively, ofcourse). Or maybe he was thinking “what can this ~~black~~ woman teach me that i can’t find on google?” Oya, find it now? No, he couldn't!. See wasted effort.

7. People chooking* up randomly. You may include raw chookers in this category. For chrissakes, why do some people think they’re immune to gonorrhoea or syphilis? Or even HIV? It baffles me. In this era of female assertiveness and equality, some ladies have simply chosen to forget self-restraint and decency. It’s not every man that gives you attention, takes you shopping or buys you dinners that you’ll open leg for. And for guys as well, it’s not every randy thought that pops in your head that you must kpansh away. My mother always said that the biggest remedy to unwanted (or unfulfillable) sexy thoughts is to ignore them. You read right. You CAN ignore it. Same thing with people who pick up at the club, um...don’t?! #nasty. In the end, people will do what they want. So if you do chook up, please condomize your life!

*Chooking: sexing, f**king, kpanshing,

Nike & HIV/AIDS

2011-03-08T17:32:00.000-05:00

This is one reasons why I applaud large multinational corporations, like Nike; it's their ability to reach a wide public base with their advertising and popular campaigns. So today is not one of those days to chant "Down with Capitalism, Down with the Man" instead I will showcase this powerful video.

We're almost at the mid-week hump, hope you are being productive with your time.

Smooches,

Anya

Stylish and Versatile Blogger Award

2011-02-17T16:53:00.003-05:00

This trending stylish and versatile blogger award was given to me by Third World Profashional and Mamuje. As part of the fun, I'm required to:

1) Thank the blogger that gave you the award.

2) Then list 7 things about yourself.

3) Give out the same awards to 15 other bloggers.

4) Then contact them.

So here goes nothing:

I will start off by thanking Miss 3rdWP and Mamuje for bestowing upon my blog this wonderful honour, it's lovely, thank you dolls. *hugs*

Seven Things about Me:

1. I will start with by sharing some not so flattering things about myself. I have narcissistic tendencies. With my strong sense of perfectionism comes many flaws, like narcissism and a desperate attempt to control outcomes, feelings, and other uncontrollable things. As a result, I am frequently unhappy about the outcome of things, especially when they don’t go the way I envision. These days, I am learning to let go and let God.

2. I also have snobbish tendencies. Do you see how I did not say I’m a snob? I only display some tendencies. And I don’t do this out of a sense of elitism or an unreal sense of self-importance. It’s just that sometimes I fear being uncomfortable and will stay away from uncomfortable situations by any means possible. So for example, if my friends were going to a social event that required too much mingling, I won’t go. Not because I’m too posh to mingle, but if it’s not my scene (i.e. something I’m really into) and I suspect that it will be uncomfortable and I would rather not go.

3. I am aging prematurely. Let me explain. I’ve noticed that my classic taste for the finer and simpler things in life is not in vogue with my peers. This applies to what I eat, how I dress, what movies I love, and what activities I enjoy. Although I’m 23, I am generally more comfortable with people in their early to mid-thirties. My friends often say I should seize my youth and live in the now. But I have no idea what that even means. I have no interest in wearing ripped leggings and bohemian gladiators in the name of youthful exuberance. Moccasins and shorts are more up my alley. But I can’t deny experiencing a sense of loss when I hear those comments about my fleeting youth. Please share your thoughts: what exactly do 23 year olds do? What do they wear? How do they stay young?

4. I am in love with a man who loves me back and is incredibly smart and handsome and fabulous. But I can’t help thinking; it’s all too good to be true. What is up with that mentality that something this wonderful could happen to me? Damn it, I know I deserve a man who is smart and handsome and fabulous. Every day, I’m learning to live in the moment.

5. So on to more frivolous details about my life. People tell me I’m very nice and thoughtful. Before I used to think it was a weakness. That made me cautious and always on guard because I didn’t want people to take advantage of my generosity. But over time, I’ve come to realize and appreciate that being nice and thoughtful are actually good things, go figure!

6. I am too curious for words! I like to think google was made for me! There’s nothing that I want to know about, that I won’t find out about. The only enigmas that I haven’t cracked are algorithms and God. Algorithms; because I have the attention span of a goldfish for mathematics. And God; because God is unfathomable.

7. Sometimes I wonder why I blog. If you haven’t noticed, my postings on this blog have been few and sporadic. I know I say I will post more entries, more often; but most times I would rather just read other blogs and comment than post one of my own. Does this make me selfish? lazy? bored? I don’t know or probably a combination of all those things. But I no longer know why I’m doing this . Sometimes I think, perhaps, if I wasn’t posting anonymously, I would have a stronger commitment to this space. But I won’t go public here. I’ve already shared too much about my real life. Maybe I need to turn a new leaf and start a new (un-anonymous) blog all together. We will see.

And there you have it, seven random things about my life. The instructions for this meme say to tag 15 people. That is serious work. So since this meme has gone around blogville a fair bit, and I’m filling it out quite late - if you haven’t done it and you’re reading this post: consider yourself TAGGED!

And happy belated Valentine's day folks! I hope you laughed, got some good nookie, and ate more than your fair share of sweets. I know I did two of the above ;)

Best Blogs for African Studies Students

2011-01-31T18:06:00.000-05:00

If you are an African enthusiast who enjoys reading about the Continent, check out these links here.

Woe is Me

2011-01-18T13:02:00.000-05:00

Today my Uterus is not cooperating with me.

self-explanatory.

full-stop.

Winter Boots

2011-01-12T17:26:00.005-05:00

...because winter fashion is hard and that eskimo look is not sexy.

It can be hard to stay sexy in this Canadian winter with all that much need layering and padding. And don't forget the icy-roads and sidewalks and slush (oh my!). But my Fashionistas, we have to remind ourselves that winter fashion is possible, winter fashion can be practical and winter fashion is fun!

I've been searching for boots for a while now and since Winter is almost over (only 3 more months to go!) winter styles at the mall have started going on sale. So y'know your girl is looking to get something cute. I found these boots from Aldo and Nordstrom. As usual, the nordstrom bootie is a bit pricey but they're all très cute! As you will see, I'm a big fan of the brown, because I feel black shoes look too serious and formal. I like to keep it casual-chic. Check out the boots and share your thoughts!

Michael Kors 'Carlie' Faux Fur Bootie - $194

Aldo Buzzelli Mid-calf boot - $104.99

Aldo Wootan Ankle Boot - $140

Aldo Rubio Ankle Boot - $90.99

..for the colorful fashionista. Heck, I would rock it!


Aldo Horio (black suede) - $62.99

Back to Africa

2011-01-10T12:50:00.001-05:00

We live in a society where no matter how bright you are, the circumstances of your birth determine how well you do, except of course if by some miracle you find yourself in government where plunder is the only option. This has got to be the only place on earth where honesty is derided as foolishness and theft and plunder are celebrated. This is a place where we don’t, as a matter of course, groom thinkers and philosophers or scientists and inventors; a place where patriotism is the last word on anyone’s lips, not surprisingly because it is difficult to feel fervour and passion for a place, which kills dreams and hopes.

-Kadaria Ahmed in Observations: The lesson from the North (10/01/11)

Culled from 234next, Opinion Editorial

These are the kinds of stories I find in the news at a time when I`m thinking of my Exodus-cum-Exit Strategy to Nigeria. There are so many factors to consider in this exodus...

Will I find work

Will I find pay

Will I find play

Will I find convenience

Will I find happiness

Where is my future heading?

After living in the West for almost a decade, I have become accustomed to this culture, norms, values and general way of life. So a few days ago when my folks said to me 'start thinking about coming back home', ask me why I experienced shock, panic, anger...? But believe me, I consider myself very patriotic, I love my Country. But I don`t like what it does to dreams, hopes, and aspirations.

You know how people say, `hard work pays` - well, that is not necessarily the case in my Country. Hard work does not always pay. The system is not in equilibrium. You can work for 35 years as a Public Servant and end up with no pension. Your altitude in life is dependent on luck and chance, if anything. My Country is not a welfare state. I have seen homeless former veterans, who became amputated during my Country`s civil war and various heroic `save-them` missions in West Africa. These individuals have nothing to show for it...unless you`re a top general living in the Hills. The average low-rank former veteran is broke, lining up monthly at a window scrapping to collect any semblance of a pension package.

My people, with this kind of treatment, why should I surrender and run back to the unopen arms of my Country. Think: a lover forsaking all and running back to unrequited love, please why bother?

Let me know your thoughts.

P.S: I am not a fashion designer or any of those entertainment/celebrity-like things that many Western graduates have gone back to do in my country. Don`t get me wrong; I believe everyone has their part to play. But I am a glasses-doning, Political Economist yuppie, living and working in a capital city. How can I surrender all of this for a high dose of uncertainty?

Welcome 2011

2011-01-06T22:56:00.000-05:00

Today is the first day of the rest of my life. I'm ready for you 2011...bring it on.

I encourage you to envision the best for your life this year. Dream big, act on it, and see where it takes you.

Here's to new beginnings and a fresh lease on life.

Happy New Year!

'Tis the Season to be JOLLY!

2010-12-23T15:52:00.000-05:00

Ho! Ho! Ho!!!!!!!

Merry Christmas to you lovely creatures! I hope your holiday season is fabulous, delicious, and full of hope.

I will return to my frequent blogging schedule in the new year.

So my people, until then; have fun, pray to God, eat & be merry, chook with condom, and celebrate your life. 2010 was great, 2011 will be better!

I must to continue....

2010-11-10T10:43:00.001-05:00

".. iMac, iTouch, iPhone, iPad, iPod, iBuy, iBroke, iNofitchop, iVex , iPackmyload, iGoVillage....." ...LMAO

my people, I will be back!

The beginning of the End?

2010-10-12T20:56:00.000-04:00

Hey folks,

It looks like the end of the blogging road for me. I knew this was coming for a while now but I didn't know how to say goodbye. Quite frankly, I've run out of things to say.

I've enjoyed meeting other bloggers. I've shared your stories and pictures. And I've enjoyed being a part of this virtual escape but reality has set in. I'm going through so many things in my life right now and I need to take a break from it all.

So until we meet again, whether it's in this ~~virtual~~ life or the next, I wish you many splendid things.

Adios!

ThisTuesday

2010-09-21T18:43:00.000-04:00

I came to blog today but I couldn't think of anything sensible to say. I'll be back with more details on my desire to go on a personal Pilgrimage.

Pilgrimage [pil-gruh-mij] - any long journey, especially one undertaken as a quest or for a votive purpose, as to pay homage: a pilgrimage to the grave of Shakespeare.

I need to make a vow with my Self to go on a quest for life.

Some of my Favourite Things

2010-09-05T21:24:00.004-04:00

And in no particular order....

1. Snuggling in the dead of Winter/ ~~Harmattan~~: with that special someone. This happens preferably after dinner when we're both satiated and content. It's great to just spoon on the couch watching T.V not saying too much.

2. Making a Connection: You know how sometimes you actually take the time out to get to know someone (this applies to both sexes). And you learn about the person's hobbies and what they enjoy doing for fun. It's such a magical moment when you connect with them at the level of that thing that makes them tick. It can be a Eureka! moment (as in, wow, this person and I are so similar) or a WHOA! moment (like 'where've you been all my life?' or 'wow, I could never be friends with someone who thinks like this' or who does 'such & such'). I like making connections.

3. Passionate Sex: Yes, you knew this was cumming. But I'll only sex when there's love. You know the kind of sex I'm talking about? That type you only do with someone you're truly in love with and the love is mutual. And it's an exclusive relationship. Sex is a good thing.

4. Achievements: Sometimes do you just sit back and think of your personal accomplishments? Like mentally dust off and polish your accolades? Do you take pride in yourself and say, 'wow I've come a long way'? I don't mean this in a proud way, but I think you need to take time to give yourself credit every day. Don't sell yourself short. You are not were you used to be.

Michael Phelps after winning 8 medals in 2008.

5. On-line shopping for expensive shit: LOL! this one is a seasonal favourite for me. Every so often, I'll want to splurge on a pricey-enough-to-pay-my-rent kinda shoe. Like check what is scratching my wallet right now:

Miu Miu Studded-Heel Platform Pump

I like inexpensive stuff too. Some of my favourite sites are Forever21, GoJane (but you'll pay import duties when you ship to Canada), ModCloth, and Zappos. Remember to drop me a note with your favourite online shopping sites.

6. Good Books: I find reading great books so selfishly fulfilling! It's incredible to be able to get lost in a story, occasionally come up for air and then dive back in again. See the books I'll be reading in a few weeks in this post.

7. Laughing: I must say that I laugh at the most random things. Two nights ago, I saw this guy sneakily scratching his balls in the club. And I burst out laughing. He saw me, I saw him. But I couldn't help myself. I felt like an accomplice in the itch. It was too funny!

8. Re-discovering Old Music: Listening to Usher's 8701 album was pure bliss last week. When you listen to old music, it takes you back to a time of your life and you get re-immersed in the moment. For me when 8701 came out, I was crushing on my neighbour big time! I used to think about him all the time, frankly I was obsessed with the boy. I was 14. He was 16. It was a big deal. So when I heard that album again, it took me way back and I felt like a teenager ~~bursting with hormonal imbalances.~~

9. Getting private Facebook messages: It's so cute to see someone take their time to type out a really long essay for your viewing pleasure. The length of a message says much...

10. International Travel: Put me on a plane and I'm off! I go right to sleep. I think flying is so relaxing. I hate plane food but the thrill of being airborne is simply satisfying.

Single & Lovin' it?

2010-09-01T10:08:00.000-04:00

I had an epiphany.

I need to be true to myself. I need to listen to my body, my thoughts, my emotions, my mind.

There is no unchart-able territory in my heart/mind. I must not be afraid to explore the deep darkness of my mind/heart/body/soul.

I must do everything I can to remain happy, preserve my sanity, and enjoy life.

Who said that being single was bad/boring/lonely/hell?

These may be the best years of my life!

So I made a bucket list of things to do in the interim while I'm waiting to exhale. I need to (in no particular order).......

1. Travel - Norway, Morocco, Germany, France, across West Africa

2. Learn - new things like new sports, a new language, new life/practical skills

3. Read - more recreational books, novels

4. Dream - dream big, take on new challenges, start a big-picture/macro project

I'm currently reading books by:

-John Steinbeck (Grapes of Wrath)

-Rohan Mistry (A Fine Balance),

-Anton Chekhov (The Steppe)

To-do Book List:

- Blink by Malcolm Gladwell
- The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell
- Freakonomics by Stephen Dubner and Steven Levitt
- Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyer
- Conquering your Quarterlife Crisis
- Twenty-Something Manifesto
- Temple of My Familiar by Alice Walker
- The Autobiography of Malcolm X.
- Wounds of Passion by bell hooks
- Bluest Eye
- A Woman's Worth by Tracy Price Thompson
- In the Spirit by Susan Taylor
- A Northern Light by Jennifer Donnelly
- The Glass Menagerie
- Brainwashed: Challenging the myths of black inferiority by Tom Burell

- and many more books by African Authors.

This epiphany suddenly hit me because for a while back there, I had been feeling like I was waiting for something big to occur before my life would start "happening". I'm talking grand events, a big sign, thunder/lightning in the sky...

And in the past, I had a linear plan. Get into school. Do my graduate research. Finish my dissertation. Get a job. Get hitched. Birth youngins...etc. But I couldn't help thinking that there's gotta be more to life than...

Anyway, in my linear plan, I didn't allot time for true personal growth or the pursuit of spirituality. I just assumed these things would happen along the way as a consequence of all the other plans I was carrying out. So it turned out that there was growth in many areas of my life but yet so many more areas of me still need work.

I know. I'm a masterpiece in progress.

So here I am, on September 1st, 2010, doing a much-needed reassessment of my life. And saying to myself that I have to make a concerted effort to actually live my life. I re-pledge to live deliberately from this moment. That is, to be an active agent of my own change and not that which is acted upon.

So if you're reading this entry, what areas of you still need work? And what are you doing to grow as a person?

Stuck in Limbo (and a fun meme)

2010-08-19T12:10:00.002-04:00

I answered a meme & saved the draft since October last year. So here I am cleaning out the B.S from my life (& this blog: stupid chinese spam). I found this picture & It's appropriate for the way I feel today - like complete crap!

But I'm supposed to trust God to work things out with my ex. It's been almost 2 years since we've been in this limbo. I'm tired. It's so draining. Or maybe I'm just getting my period & my hormones are playing crazy tricks on me. I'm not sure.

Or how do you see it? am I being S E L F I S H for wanting him?

....and the Meme:

1. What is your name: Anya

2. A four Letter Word: Anus

3. A boy's Name: Abel

4. A girl's Name: Ariel

5. An occupation: Artist
6. A color: Auburn

7. Something you'll wear: Anklets

9. A food: Amala

10. Something found in the bathroom: Arm & Hammer toothpaste.

11. A place: Anaheim

12. A reason for being late: Arsenal lost the game!!
13. Something you'd shout: Ass-face!

14. A movie title: Astronaut's Wife

15. Something you drink: Apple juice

16. A musical group: Abba

17. An animal: Antelope

18. A street name: Ajax

19. A type of car: Audi

My words cannot explain...

2010-08-13T23:41:00.000-04:00

...so I'll let Christina do the ~~singing~~ talking for me. Generally, I've been feeling like crap recently. I'm struggling with rapid weight gain and feeling too lazy to exercise. Just for the record, when I started this blog 2 years ago. I weighed approximately 120lbs. Tonight I climbed the scale and I weighed in at a whopping 150lbs!! WTF?!

It's completely unfair, unreal, f**king retarded! I mean...What the heck happened in 2 years? Well, I got my 2nd degree, finally broke up with my on-again/off-again boyfriend of 3 years, started doing serious things like volunteering in the community, and what do I get for all my hard work - 30 extra pounds of fat.

My mom is extremely funny. She doesn't get it. The other day she commented on 'how I'm finally growing into my body'.... "your real body is really coming out now". What the heck is that supposed to mean anyway?! Then I get all these weird aunts and uncles alluding to the fact that I look so "mature" (read: fat) and ready for marriage. (Me: HELL NO!!!). I don't understand any of this. It's funny because none of my family is telling me to lose weight, they're all just sitting back and watching me 'blossom'.

I'm so bored when people say, "You weigh I50lbs? Oh wow...you don't look it at all....everything is so proportional...blah blah". They're just giving me positive reinforcement to keep avoiding the gym. So far my rationale has been that 'If I don't look that bad, it's not that serious'. I AM SO WRONG!

There are other things like high cholesterol, diabetes, and clogged arteries which will never be seen through cute summer frocks or playful peep-toe sandals or flawless face or perfect hair. Fashion cannot cure Heart Disease!

And that was my midnight rant. I'll just go to bed now & sob to Christina here. Tomorrow, I'll grab my running shoes and hit the gym. Enough is Enough. F M L. Obesity is a Sin. Father, forgive me for I am the baddest sinner.

Live your Life

2010-07-17T12:02:00.003-04:00

ALOHA.

A wise man said:

"Iron rusts from disuse, stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen,

even so does inaction sap the vigors of the mind"

- Leonardo da Vinci

My mind has been somewhat inactive for a while now. I had been doing the same things for a long time; expecting different results and hoping to experience change in my situation. For example, I was so busy writing my dissertation for a little over a year back there that I was only reading books and articles in my field, plus I was caught up in a wrong romantic situation, and didn't take the chance to stretch my outlook on life.

This went on for a while until something snapped! I started feeling stagnant, I started feeling mentally weary, fagged out, depressed (the magic word!). I knew I had to re-evaluate my life, I knew I needed to review my choices, and I knew I had to give up some good things so that better things would come along. I knew I needed to change.

Somebody said "life is too short, then you die". At the rate I was going, my soul knew that I was just waiting to die. I had resigned to fate, stopped dreaming, and hoped that at least I could just exist. I was taking everything for granted. Do you see where I'm going with this?

I became complacent. So for example, even in that wrong relationship where I knew he was cheating/going to cheat, I stayed in it because I thought he would outgrow the habit and learn to truly commit. I figured he was the only one for me, so we would just patch things along then eventually get hitched! Yeah, great idea, Anya! You really planned out that one well. I was being complacent.

Another example, in my grad school work, I started putting in the minimal amount of work. I no longer cared if I published or not. I was bored. I just wanted to get by. I thought to myself: nobody cares about what you have to say, people are too vain to get it. I was wrong! People did want to hear what I had to say, I was very relevant.

They say hindsight is 20/20. Well, I concur. What was I thinking back then? I had filled my mind with too much rubbish to notice I was infected. I was sick with Fear. My blood was toxic with Complacency.Today I know different. I can feel the life rushing through me. I feel like I just recovered some lost limbs. I can walk, I can run, I can fly. I can dream.

So I must tell you -- if you can dream, dream BIG. Live your life with passion. Don't take people for granted; better yet, don't take yourself for granted. I know it's cliche, but honestly, you have one life to live. Explore your options. Seize every opportunity. Be thankful. Then just breathe.

I took this picture of one of the roses in my backyard. So pretty :)

(whirl)wind of Change

2010-07-08T15:51:00.000-04:00

Hello People,

I have come to the realization that my life is more fascinating in my head than in reality. Don't get me wrong, reality is good; uhm...real. But the stuff that goes on in my head is way more exciting.

So I am alive and well. I didn't get a chance to blog because bigger things had my attention. I did my dissertation and passed my defense. (YAY me!!). Now I'm job-hunting and spending a lot of time on the internet so now I can return to blogging like always. I hope you're having a splendid summer. What exciting things are you doing with your time?

Tidings...

Spring Tidings

2010-05-08T16:54:00.000-04:00

I've been gone but I haven't forgotten blogville. So much is happening in my life these days; it's hard to find the stillness to blog. I'm moving to a new city, officially single & ~~searching~~ would like to be found, done with school & ready to groove, and just feeling fresh with my life!

Soon & very soon, I'll resume blog-duty. Until that time, my people have a splendid spring!

Self-doubt

2010-04-07T00:03:00.000-04:00

Self-doubt is the lack of confidence in the reliability of one's own motives, personality, thought, etc.

I know I'm the best at what I do, so why the heck do these self-doubting thoughts creep into my sub-conscious & pollute my mind with the fear of failure?

I'm going through some trying times right now. I'll return when this storm passes.

My Uterus & Jill Scott on Marriage

2010-03-25T23:24:00.000-04:00

Well...so my mini-hiatus is over, I'm back to continue sharing my thoughts with you. First let me tell you what I've been up to:

Today, I was reading Necole Bitchie, where she had a very insightful comment from Jill Scott's take on marriage & relationships. Jill Scott recently broke off her 2-year engagement with her fiancé and baby-daddy.

She tells Vibe:

"I don’t think I’ll get married again. I’m not looking for it. What I can say about my divorce and my failed engagement is that I learned where my bar is. I used to pray for a man who had potential, but that’s not my prayer anymore. Not only does he have to have potential, he has to have had accomplished some things in his life. He has to have a work ethic, because I don’t want to come home to someone sitting on the sofa playing PlayStation. I’m looking for someone who works as hard as I do. Who loves their work as much as I do, so at the end of the night we have something real to talk about, something exciting that makes our blood flow and boil. I need my man to be my homie. If you can’t help me grow, there’s no point with you being in my life."

This babe is making too much sense abeg. I mean honestly, I know I'll be a good catch to any deserving man as per wife matters. But I don't just want to be with someone just because I'm good for them. I want them also to be good for me. Do you feel me? It's not a enough that I should be supportive, caring, and warm to a man. He has to be all those things to me as well.

Last week, I had a bad case of migraines. I dunno what triggered them but it was followed by my Uterus deciding to fall out! Yes...Aunt Flo thought it'll be a cool idea to visit during my busiest week of the year! I had to mark exams, finish 3 chapters of my dissertation, and still go about like the world was a happy place. ~~I was completely unimpressed with the moon and all things monthly~~

Speaking of periods, has anyone tried the DIVA/MOON cup? It's that conical cup made from silicone which you insert into your vagina to collect your Uterus chunks (menstruation - this word is so un-sexy!). I hear the diva cup is very earth-friendly (green) and cost-effective. Can you imagine all the money I'd be saving instead of monthly purchases on regular pads, overnight pads, regular tampons, super tampons, panti-liners, and thong-liners! Imagine if all that money was spent treating myself to a spa date once a month or better yet, donating it to a local charity? Hmm... I'm going to look into that Diva Cup business.

That's the relative size of the cup. It's very bendable since it's made of silicone. The cup is folded vertically and inserted into the vaginal cavity like a tampon.

After insertion into the vagina, apparently you're no longer supposed to feel the cup. After 6-8 hours, the cup should be taken out by the bottom handle and emptied down the toilet drain (eek!). It can be cleansed by rinsing with hot water. And after your period is over, the cup may be sanitized by boiling.

And for all those ladies (& gents) who cringe at the discussion of periods, what is the big deal anyway?! I don't understand the hush-hush taboo around periods as if it's something abnormal. Periods are like the most normal thing about people, just like eating, sleeping, poo-ing, e.t.c

Anyway, those have been the kinda things on my mind this week. I'm looking into seriously pursuing a new hobby; maybe photography or cooking. I'm not sure yet but summer's coming and I cannot be idle! Any ideas for fun hobbies?

Men, Nigerians & Nigerian Politics,

2010-03-13T01:33:00.002-05:00

This weekend has been mental. My thoughts have been busy like a beehive. I've got too much to talk about but I'll just leave you some snippets of what's been going on in my head recently.

1. On the last week outburst in Jos, Nigeria & Nigerian partisan politics in general -
Gywnne Dyer encapsulates my anguish here. He said:

"The northern elite plays the Muslim card repeatedly to preserve its monopoly of power in the northern states, but it will never stop collaborating with the southern elite to maintain the status quo, because all the oil is in the south. The two groups compete fiercely over the division of the spoils, but if the north ever really seceded from Nigeria, the northern elite would lose its access to the oil revenues that keep it rich."

Nigeria is a strange country, no doubt. A country that poses as one of the most religious, yet ranks amongst the most corrupt nations in the world. That is strange.

2. On the 'Enough is Enough' protest coming up next week in Abuja -

I am highly concerned about the security and safety of this march. I pray it will be peaceful. But participants please be vigilant of your surroundings because you never know which thugs have been hired to turn this thing into a mess.

If I would design a revolution in my Country, it will be one of 'FULL DISCLOSURE'. This matter of an absent President is shrouded in too much mystery. As in, c'mon! It's only in Nigeria where the president will be missing for 3 months and nobody still knows what has happened to him. I am not asking that he should be impeached or resign, all I want is full disclosure. Abeg, show ya face; make ya country people know wetin dey worry you so we fit target our prayers! And if the Acting President has truly been conferred 'acting' powers, please let him ACT now & ACT fast!

3. Nigeria doesn't need much to take-off. Nigerians are known to be highly resilient, adaptable, and incredibly ingenious. Give Nigerians the basics and they will function. I'm talking about simple things like infrastructure:

a. Clean Water
b. Electricity
c. Affordable access to health services
d. Good roads
e. Good Airports
f. Hygienic sewage system

And then, let Nigerians enjoy a Good Education and see what they will do! Not the type of education that is fraught with exam malpractices or university strikes. Or the type that is spewing out half-baked graduates. No. I'm talking about the kind of education where a Nigerian girl or boy can dream about a future becoming something unconventional like an Artist or a Sculptor or a Librarian without fears of a life in poverty, or of hopes lost and dreams deferred.

Nigerians deserve the best. They have put in blood, sweat, and tears. Too many Sons and Daughters of this earth have been sacrificed for the dream. Too many people have been complicit in the raping of that Nation. When will it stop? Nigerians deserve better...

4. I'm tired of being single. I need a romantic outlet. I've technically been single for almost 9 months now (aside from one long romance). It's no longer cute. I'm looking for a nice young man, who is creative, intelligent, attractive, and ambitious. I'm not asking for much. I just want someone who gets me. So nice gentlemen in the Greater Toronto Area (GTA) (and environs), please do not hesitate to apply.

N.B: He should also be a growing Christian, non-neurotic, doesn't abuse drugs, strong self-esteem, willing to learn, non-flirt, non-player, have a job or at least be in graduate school, have a valid driver's license, ~~must like long walks on the beach,~~ must like dogs, must like books (non-academic literature), must be willing to grow, must be a closet metrosexual (I'm not into scruffy men or the scruffy look), must wear deodorant and cologne, must be passionate about something, must have drive, must be sensual, must have drive, may be any race, colour or size but preference will be awarded to tall, dark, and handsome, bilingual is an asset, must be pro-life, must believe in true love, be caring, kind, compassionate, and must have been born MALE.

Yeah, so these have been a few of my thoughts over the weekend. I'm hopeful for the new week that I will be productive and energized for my trip to New York at the end of the month! So my dear blogville folk, have a blessed weekend!

Kisses,

Anya xoxo

Photo Credit:
1. Independence day, 2009. European Pressphoto Agency.
2. Child crying after receiving Polio vaccine, REUTERS.
3. Idris Elba, BET.

Nigeria: Enough is Enough

2010-03-09T22:41:00.000-05:00

"I like to make myself believe that Planet Earth turns slowly..."
-Owl City (Fireflies)

That the earth would turn slowly so that Nigeria can become great again.

....that the earth would turn slowly so that my Country will rise higher than former glory

....that its Citizens would reject complacency and demand Change.

....that the Wind of Change will not pass us by too quickly.

....that the World would wait for us to catch up.

....that her illustrious Sons & Daughters will get a chance to fulfill their destinies.

....that we can forge a stronger sense of national pride.

....that GLORY will rest within the boundaries of our polity

....that fear of tyranny will not haunt our collective subconscious.

....that we learn to live again like there is value in human life

....that the earth would turn slowly & wait for us...

But Planet Earth will NOT wait.

*A laudable attempt at something quasi-revolutionary, however; under-ambitious.

The end of Privacy (formspring.me)

2010-03-03T13:46:00.001-05:00

What would you like to know about me? Ask me anything on my formspring page. This is going to be fun, I can tell. So ask away Blogville!

-A.P

The Woman & Wife

2010-02-26T01:08:00.000-05:00

I feel a strong sense of push-pull tension about the idea of marriage. As a woman, I look forward to it but quite frankly, I'm also very scared about being married. On the one hand, I imagine the experience of wonderful marital bliss with a Significant Other; a lifetime of togetherness; intimacy; bonding; ~~raw sex;~~ raising a family; walking the life path... And on the other, inevitable disappointments; heartbreak; dependence; raising a family; walking the life path... Basically, almost the same things which pull me toward the idea, push me away from it!

The Greeks' basically proprietary attitude towards women is well illustrated by the following statement from Demosthenes' account of the lawsuit, Against Naera:

For this is what living with a woman as one's wife means - to have children by her and to introduce the sons to the members of the clan and of the deme, and to betroth the daughters to husbands as one's own. Mistresses we keep for the sake of pleasure, concubines for the daily care of our persons, but wives to bear us legitimate children and to be faithful guardians of our households.

Since the time of the ancient Greeks, what has really changed in our modern society? These days, people rave about how women have achieved equality & liberty; yet many wives are still simply being relegated to the background as 'bearers of legitimate children'.

When I think about the relationship between husbands and wives, I imagine a union where individuals are day-to-day companions, of emotional & intellectual intimates. But obviously, this has not always been the case with traditional roles for men and women in matrimony.

When you think about marriage, how would you describe the role & relationship of the woman & wife to her man & husband?

-A.P

Stupid Young (White) People

2010-02-19T02:32:00.000-05:00

As a Grad Student, I have the opportunity of being a Teaching Assistant; hosting seminars, grading exams, etc; in Political Science, Gender Studies, and Human Rights courses. I get the chance to question intelligence and knowledge on a weekly basis.

So I'm marking the midterm for one Gender course and this is what one student wrote about the "Male Gaze" - pay attention to the example he uses to explain the concept:

"The Male gaze refers to a certain perspective of looking at something. An example of this is that an Orthodox Jew would look at a piece of holocaust memorabilia more intently and from a different perspective than would a South African who knows very little about world history"

To which I remarked - "...outrageous claim! See me in my office."

Sometimes I just wonder where these kids get their ideas from. You don't have to be South African to get offended by that one!

Or check out the introductory paragraph in one essay about development aid to Africa from my 3rd level Political Science course:

"The country of Africa is afflicted with many woes..."

To which I remarked - "...when last did you visit the said 'country'?"

And this student threw in a lot of "...those people" into the soup to enrich the broth. As in "...those people are desperately hungry and will die unless they are fed", or "...those people must accept help from anywhere they can get it". Arrgghhh....

Why do some young people think it's OK to be foolish? And especially when your T.A is a very conspicuous black African female?!

-Anya (weary from marking)
-Listening to country music all night long :)
-Now playing: Anne Murray 'Danny's Song'

Renewed Faith: That's My King

2010-02-10T23:02:00.001-05:00

That's My King from Dustin Bankord. You can check out more videos from the list here

I hope you're having a great week everyone, mine is very busy as usual but it's good. We're making progress.

Anya xo

Obesity is a Sin

2010-02-01T18:08:00.002-05:00

Obesity is a sin. It's up there with Murder, Adultery, and Covetousness.*

Introducing, Anya's Law:

Gluttony is a sin. Greed is a sin.

Hence,

Gluttony + Greed + uninhibited propensity to indulge = Obesity :. Sin

Why are some people obese? How did they eat their way to that weight? Are they naturally hungrier than other people? Are they just greedy? Are some people more susceptible to weight gain than others?

I have a genuine fear of being fat. It is the fear that I will eat myself to death. That I will become so big and swollen that I will no longer be considered attractive by the opposite sex. I feel good about myself when I think I'm attractive but I feel even better when others think I am an attractive person.

I'm afraid of fat people. I think that fat is contagious. Sometimes, I feel that if I hang around a fat person, my body may sub-consciously tap into their frequency of fatness; that I'll start eating like them, I'll become allergic to exercise, and swell into a shapeless blob of fat globules.

I think I'd rather have an eating disorder (like anorexia or bulimia) than be Obese.
There's nothing sexy about obesity.
At least with anorexia, I can gradually eat my way back to my ideal weight (125 lbs). But it'll take a lot of hard work & determination to burn 200lbs down to 125.

When I start having kids, I intend to work out like a fiend right after each birth. Fat is not sexy - even on moms. I'll exercise post-baby so it won't be said that "oh, she let herself go after having children". That will not be said about me. No. Never.

There are so many stereotypes about fat people; that they're dirty. they're stinky. they have low self-esteem. they're weak. they have no will to lose weight. e.t.c. How can you possibly (un)believe these stereotypes when you see this?

So my dear readers, are you fat? More so, are you obese? What are you doing about your predicament?
These days I have 138 lbs on my 5'5" frame. But I'm working hard everyday to redeem myself from the bondage of sin.

Never be afraid to take charge of your body. It's the only one you've got!

Anya Posh

-------------------------------------------

*: (Anya's Bible, Revised edition 2010).

Disclaimer:

1. This entry is not intended to offend anyone who considers him/herself obese. But if you are offended, start fasting (on fruit).

2. Or please check out: Weight Watchers, Billy Blanks Tae Bo, HIIT,

Alice in Wonderland

2010-01-15T16:19:00.002-05:00

Fascinating suff! I cannot wait ;p

Anya xoxo

Top Career Success Traits [Workopolis]

2010-01-13T13:27:00.001-05:00

Happy New Year!! It's only the 2nd week of January so I'm not too late in bringing you my new year wishes. This year, be determined to make the most out of every opportunity. I culled this list from Workopolis' monthly newsletter. It has been proved relevant to workplace survival since 2000, it won't start failing now in 2010.

The Top 10 Career Success Traits from 2000- 2009:

Being Optimistic, yet not naive;
Flexible and adaptable yet not a pushover. Good professional boundaries;
Continually learning - both linearly and non-traditionally;
Confident yet not cocky - Not afraid of self-promotion and will promote others.
Value, nurture and valued by their professional network;
Smart risk-takers - Pay attention and are not afraid of the economy;
Wide set of interests in life;
Global and local perspective;
Genuine interest in the chosen professional field;
Respect and are respected by their employer; and,
Bonus - Work seriously

Love Stinks!

2009-12-22T23:08:00.002-05:00

...especially at Christmas time. I think I'm depressed. I'm stuck in a half-way house of unrequited (spectacular)love.

What do you do when a man says he loves you but does not show it in a way that you want?
What do you do when you know that this man can never show you the kind of love you expect from a relationship?
What do you do when you can't step away from this kind of love?
...you find yourself sticking around, hoping that this kind of love will get better, this man will give more; give you what you deserve.

But you know that this kind of love is less than your standards, it is below par, it is not a consuming-type of love...it is just average...nothing spectacular, it's not that make-you-wanna-dance-in-the-streets type of love. It is disappointing.

Love stinks!

He said: ...what do you want?
She said: ...I just want love. Is that too much to ask?!

They say you have to give love to get love. Well, I've been giving and giving, when will I get mine? I've been giving you this love since for a longtime. The magnitude of my ~~love~~ -giving was so much more than you could ever match up. You only gave a little, and a little more, then only a little more - nothing compared to the magnitude of the self-sacrificing love I gave you.

So on the eve of 2010, I'm turning the taps off. I'm going to give less & less of this love, until I stop giving completely. If you will not match my magnitude with gratitude, I will not accommodate your ineptitude.

Anya

Madre, please can I have some more?

2009-12-02T21:11:00.000-05:00

In the spirit of the holidays; Thanksgiving/Christmas, you should know that I like to eat. I'm not just a food lover; I will only eat good food. If it's healthy, tasty & visually appealing. I get annoyed when food is tasteless or bland. I have even been known to get nauseous when food is pepperless or cold.

So this entry is dedicated to all my food-lovers out there. Those who can truly bask in the delight & afterglow of a good meal. So enjoy it folks. But all I have to give is - VISUAL STIMULATION!

...Anya xo

Glory

2009-11-24T12:00:00.001-05:00

The sweet taste of Victory - Barcelona 1992

Thoughts on Dating: Part II

2009-11-22T23:02:00.004-05:00

sigh!

men! men!! men!!! i don't understand why i even bother creating the environment for something magical to happen. so remember the guy I talked about from my previous post, yeah well so he asked me out. it wasn't too formal or anything. we just thought to grab a bite, something quick to eat on one of those chilly nights. well, we went and grabbed a bunch of stuff: pizza, chicken wings, cheese bread, beer. nothing fancy. we were basically going to pig out on my couch in front of the TV and play a few video games - nothing slightly even romantic. anyway, by the time we get home - my apartment is basically charging from all the electricity going between the 2 of us, too much sexual tension but we chill out, eat, talk, play games, talk some more.

And then all of a sudden, it vanishes. all the sparks i was feeling just die out. i mean completely DEAD. i don't even know how it happened. whether it was in the conversation, or i got bored (me sef!) or what, but there was nothing by the end of the night. dude has officially been put in the friendship stable.
So then weird turn of events, last week I found out that he has started seeing someone else. A white girl in the GTA (greater toronto area). And guess what, I get jealous! outta no where. i'm calculating in my head tryna figure out when they started seeing each other and if there was any overlap with our "date" night. it was weird. so i snap out of it & tell myself that I basically shunned the man after our date because i was only looking to flirt with him for a few weeks but then why was i getting all territorial & sh!t. anyway...i'm officially done with men for 2009. I have no intention of making "connections" or any of that other bullshit associated with playing the field for the rest of this year. Right now, i'll just look forward to Christmas and New Year's. It's going to be major this year. i'll tell you details later!

Anya xo

Thoughts on Dating

2009-11-05T12:21:00.000-05:00

Hey Ladies (& Gents), I have questions!

Do you engage in 'self-sabotage'? Self-sabotage is when you're creating additional mental stress for yourself when there's none. It's like adding extra drama to your life when there really isn't any.

OK, so there's this new crush in my apt. building who I'm ~~loving~~ liking a lot. He's got an athletic build & the dreamiest grey eyes & dark brown/blondish hair. He's so smart & intellectual (my type) but not too tall. Anyway, we've been flirting back & forth & I know there's definitely chemistry but now i'm stomped. I've started acting all weird & sh!t just because I have acknowledged to myself the fact that I like him.

For example, the other day while I was doing laundry downstairs in my pyjamas (tank top & sweat pants - no bra! ~~and my nipples were charging~~) he came down to do his load as well. We got talking about a lot of things like his horses, family cottage, etc. It was a good conversation but I caught him looking several times! Anyway, this incident just happened - I don't walk around bra-less all the time with charging nipples. LOL>>> but I love the attention I'm getting from him but I also need to keep it cool & stop over-doing it with the flirting. He's a great guy & I wouldn't mind a few dates; nothing serious. I'm not really looking for a relationship right now.

So my dear ladies who have mastered the art of seduction, how do you reel a guy in without being so obvious that you're reeling him in? Or guys, how do you like to be reeled in?

And how do you play it cool without engaging in self-sabotage?

New Moons & Changing Seasons

2009-10-24T03:31:00.000-04:00

It's that time of the year again. When the weather throws off its summer warmth to embrace the Winter chill. Everything is changing. These days, it's wet and rainy, the temperature is about 5°C on average, and daylight is fast fleeting. This is a signal that I will be spending countless hours on graduate school work in the library, getting too little sleep, and probably gaining 2-4 lbs from my current sedentary lifestyle.

So to remain my fabulous self, my top 10 strategies for the next few months for beautiful hair, skin, mind, & body are:

1. For the body, get back to the Gym. I plan to work out 3 days a week of cardio & strength-training, plus 2 days of Hot Yoga to stay in good shape. This work-out plan cannot be over-stressed. It's the only way to bust that insulating winter fat!

2. For natural hair, it is the season to maintain a steady regime with a good conditioner (weekly) and a deep conditioner (every 2 weeks). I just picked up Organic Root Stimulator's 'Hair Mayonnaise' to use with my heating cap for about 30 minutes after each wash. These same rules apply for relaxed hair which needs an extra dose of conditioning with protein treatments to fortify over-processed strands.

3. I will be reverting to regular autumn/winter hair care regime of frequent scalp massages with olive oil, using a leave-in conditioner like Infusium 23 for moisture, sealing the hair with unrefined shea butter, and reduce manipulating the hair to retain growth and avoid unnecessary breakage/shedding.

4. Don't forget weekly manicures to keep nails & hands looking fresh & classy despite the frostiness outside.

5. Winter hair removal: remember to Pluck/Thread/Wax eyebrows once they grow out of place. Nicely groomed brows frame your face and give you a cleaner appearance. Every month I get my brows threaded by an Indian lady for only $4. Then as the weeks go by, I pluck/tweeze any stray hairs that are growing outside the outline she created.
As for body hair, I use depilatory creams on my armpits weekly. And shave my legs to the winter-drop point just above my knees because I won't be wearing anything shorter than that length anyway. Personally, I don't think there's any point obsessing about female body hair once it gets colder because the tights/pantyhose come out of the closet and the frilly dresses & tube-tops return to the summer vault for storage!

6. Remember to take your Multivitamins. There are some good brands out there like One a Day Women & Centrum. Or even some generic ones are relatively good too. Just ensure they provide you with a good dose of the essentials like Calcium, Magnesium, Folic Acid, the Vitamin Bs & Vitamin D. For my darker-skinned sisters (& brothers) , if you live in a temperate climate, Vitamin D is particularly essential for you because since there's less sunlight with shorter days and longer nights, you can't quite absorb as much Vit. D as you need, so you need to get it somehow.

And for my sisters with heavy periods, try to replenish your body stores of iron after each period by increasing your intake of foods iron-rich such as: spinach, beef liver, iron-fortified cereals, or 1 tbsp of blackstrap molasses.

7. Remember to drink enough water. I don't aim for the 8 glasses a day rule...but I drink atleast 5 tall glasses of water everyday. I remind myself to drink water by making sure that I take atleast 5 gulps of water before I eat anything, even snacks.

8. Make out time to Pray/Meditate at least once everyday. If you don't have a close relationship with God, develop one. Or if you don't believe in God, meditate on yourself & try to grasp at your inner essence. Whatever you do, enjoy stillness and silence. Take time to re-evaluate your life. Ask yourself those deep questions like Who am I? Where am I going? How are my thoughts affecting my actions? How are my actions affecting others?

9. Say 'YES!' to new experiences. You're never to busy to try out something different/challenging/exciting. Dare to explore uncharted territory. Try something you've always wanted to do: you wanted to visit a small-town gallery, Do It! you wanted to rent-a-car and drive to New York, Do It! you wanted to join the rowing team on campus, Do It! One thing I am still learning is that life will never hand you 'special' time, saying "here, this is for you to live out your desires". You have to take it & do it BY FORCE!

10. Ultimately, Stay Positive. Remember to look on the bright side. Don't be too critical or judgemental about people. Don't be too gullible. Don't be too cheap. Don't be too extravagant. Be humble, be sincere, guard your personal integrity, and never stop discovering yourself.

Anya xo

P.S: What are you doing to stay fresh this season?

I took these photos a few days ago
...don't you just love these changing seasons!

I'll Never Forget You

2009-10-18T01:47:00.000-04:00

I'll never forget you..
They said we'd never make it..
My sweet joy..
Always remember me..
----

Tonight I got one of those moments when all of a sudden memories of your ex come rushing back at you outta nowhere. I swear I'm not getting my period anytime soon, so you can rule out PMS. But these memories were so happy & sad & intense. I even found myself going through old emails, old photos, and old jokes. I was chuckling to myself like a bleating goat. It was ~~stupid~~ hilarious. But before I get all comfortable with these memories, I'll go & read my journal to remind myself of all the wonderful reasons I broke up with said ex to reinforce my brick wall of indifference!

And watch this video from the Noisettes. And look at lead singer, Shingai Shoniwa's ~~natural~~ hair! She is absolutely gorgeous.

I must Confess...

2009-10-16T14:04:00.000-04:00

I have not been keen on blogging lately. As some of you noticed, its been easier for me to put up snippets of Youtube videos or other random stuff I've found interesting on this space. But on that desire to continue blogging fully, it has evaded me.

So what makes a good blog into a great blog?

1. Is it the copious amounts of random information you're willing to share with potential readers?

2. Is it about how often you're able to post?

3. Is it the amount of personal stories & ~~secrets~~ confesssions you're able to share?

4. Is it the extent of your fabrications; mixing reality with fiction?

5. Or is it your brutal honesty to say what you want UNEDITED?

I ask this final question because sometimes honesty is not always sexy. For instance, you're writing a very sexy story about your weekend with so-so. It starts out looking very steamy. He comes over. You watch a movie. Your foreplay begins. He goes down on you. You go down on him. Then he slips on a condom & slides it in.

In terms of honesty, you feel you should share the real details of your sexcapades. But for sexy-time sake, you ~~forget~~ refuse to include the fact that you've only been seeing this guy for 2 weeks & you're already giving up the pussy ~~tsk tsk: whore!~~. Or it slips your mind to tell us that while he was riding away, you had already cum 10 mins earlier and wished he'd just cum already. Or to add that the condom broke and now you're screwed because you're not on the pill and you're not even into him like that (um...Plan B to the rescue, ladies).

I'm not going to make this space a revelation of my ~~quite adventurous~~ sexual past. But sometimes it seems to me that sex ~~sells~~ makes a good read. Either way, I have put the past behind me and decided to remain abstinent for as long as it takes, so help me GOD!

So what makes a good blog into a great blog?

I know that we all have different lives & imaginations. You're not just about Sex. Or about Fashion. Or about Politics. Or about Music. You've got so much to talk about.

So my fellow bloggers, why do you blog about what you blog ~~about~~?

JJC - We are Africans

2009-10-07T16:34:00.002-04:00

It has a great beat with potentially controversial lyrics but great song still. I love when that Jamaican dude starts his rap. FIYAAH!

Check it.

NNEKA

2009-09-24T16:30:00.004-04:00

This is a photo of Nneka (singer of Heartbeats & Walking) by Salena. [Click here to check out Salena's Myspace]. Nneka appeals to me. She seems real, raw, likable and worth keeping an eye on in this age of new Nigerian/Global music.

New Jam: Sasha P ft. Dama do Bling

2009-09-20T18:36:00.001-04:00

Life in the fast lane

2009-08-27T16:29:00.003-04:00

My fieldwork is going great. I haven't had the chance to update as much as I wanted. But I've taken the time to check out a few of my favourite blogs. I've even commented on some of them. So not to worry, in my spare time I have been lurking in the shadows of blogville ;)

I bet you're all doing Fabulous! The summer is over - completely unbelievable. 3 months gone down the drains of time. Bet you made the most of it, because I sure did. This hiatus was incredible. I've put up photos on facebook & I'll try to put up a few on here too ;)

So till next time beautiful people, have a great evening.

Anya

Hilltop in Bauchi State, Nigeria
Photo Credit: Amos Tanga

yet another Hiatus

2009-06-12T10:02:00.004-04:00

My Beloved, it's that time of the year again, when I have to leave the civilities of this industrial life and head out to forage in the jungle. ~~I'm joking~~. I'm going to Nigeria and Western Cameroon until September for my graduate research.

I may only have minimal access to the Internet during this time because i'll be working in very rural areas so I won't be posting up too many entries.

Anyway, no matter where I am, i'll make sure to find a cinema on JULY 15th. Because "The Half Blood Prince" comes to life! HARRY POTTER 6.

OhmiGawwwd!

Ah well, I'll be back, I promise.

Have a great summer everyone. Later.

Love, Anya

It's the Weekend!

2009-06-07T00:37:00.002-04:00

I love this song ... it makes me smile in a sad way.

Today was a good day. I felt happiness, loneliness, joy, peace, & purpose. Life is too short to dwell on past mistakes. This is Anya, keeping it moving thru 2009. This is my life. I am making it happen.

xo Anya

Natural Hair

2009-06-03T13:26:00.002-04:00

I love the way natural African hair looks & feels. By natural, I mean hair that has not been chemically altered or relaxed. I love the various textures and tones of this type of hair. Check out this video from 'The Coil Review'. Hot stuff.

I was bitten

2009-06-02T14:37:00.006-04:00

by the twitter bug!

All this virtual follow follow is quite silly actually.

But lemme go recruit some followers from my facebook!

xo Anya

-----------
P.s: I'm not ready to go public yet. So I will not be sharing my Twitter info with my Blogville family. I'm sorry y'all but my real life takes precedence. But you know I got mad virtual love for y'all ;)

Tunnel Vision

2009-04-30T16:17:00.003-04:00

I have a valid excuse for being MIA. I've been swamped with work on my thesis. Grad school is no joke. Right now, I'm working on my 'literature review' & hoping I can get it all done by the weekend. I think i'll need Sunday off to myself to think, work-out like a maniac, and blog my life away. So until then, I haven't forgotten y'all, my blogger family. I will stop by your blogs & leave comments once I'm done this phase of the madness.

Peace.

Western Civilization, Ojuju Calabar, & African Superstitious Beliefs

2009-04-10T11:36:00.000-04:00

My Mind is in over-drive & I can't help it. There are so many things I'd like to yarn about but I'll keep this entry short.

First, so how did the 'West' take manage conquer the whole world? I know there have been so many propositions as to why they managed to basically assimilate the entire globe into their fold. But how did they really do it? I was thinking to myself. For example, how can a small country like Portugal, ~~common portugal~~ manage to colonize Brazil, ~~a whole Brazil~~? It boggles my mind because now Brazilians, Angolans, Cape Verdeans & so many other small pockets of people speak Portuguese.

Or take the more popular example, the U.K. That tiny mass of land. How did they manage to imprint English on nearly the entire world? And they were not even that many back then. As I sit here typing this entry, I wonder what the world would've been like if the West had not conquered the rest. Perhaps what if we were living in an African Paradigm, where Yoruba or Swahili was the more popular global lingua franca. What would civilization look like? I dunno how the West take manage conquer the whole world but this leads me to another matter.

Ojuju Calabar ~~oyoyo oyoyo~~. I can only speak from a Nigerian viewpoint. I know that things like witchcraft, mammy wata, ogbanje, abiku, jinns, and ritual killings are very real and affect the daily lives of people. But I can't stop wondering why we (sub-Saharan Africans in general, but Nigerians in particular) are so tied to these ancestral beliefs and old world patterns of thought. In a very general sense, it seems to me that progress usually comes with the overthrow of one generation or the passing along of one wind of change. So perhaps the only real development or growth we can expect to see in Naija will happen when we have moved beyond the stage of 'superstitious beliefs' and beyond the era of paying homage to ancestral deities. Again, I will not generalize to all Nigerians on this issue since many people are quite 'progressive' but I bet a bunch of y'all know what I'm on about. Y'all know about that aunty in the village you've been warned about, or how we don't like telling people the day we're traveling so they don't go & plan for you on the highway (or whichever way you plan to travel).

In the end, I won't deny it - I'm caught up in a half-way house. I have been socialized in a western civilization, I speak English, I think in English, I write in English, I catch myself using words like 'uncivilised', 'barbaric' sometimes to describe things that seem...well, quite barbaric to me; such as the killing of twins, maiming of albinos, e.t.c. But these things ~~were~~ are happening in Africa.

And yet, I culturally subscribed to these things by having a strong awareness of their existence in reality. I remember my mom warning me some years ago to be careful about my friend whom she suspected had ogbanje. This suspicion was because of the girl's erratic behaviour. Needless to say, I wasn't ever really friends with that girl anymore. Call me paranoid or whatever, but I didn't feel like joining any night-time flying squad just yet.

Awards

2009-03-27T18:09:00.020-04:00

First off, I was awarded the 'Honest Scrap' honour by Parakeet. Who has bestowed upon me the priviledge to air out my dirty laundry - for the whole world to know the kind of dirty secrets I keep in my closet. I will try to be as brief as possible, even though many of these tales require very long narratives. I feel very honoured by this opportunity...blah blah blah (I'm supposed to brag about the award...see how modest I am being?)

Rules about this award:
1.You must brag about it
2.You must include the name of the blogger who bestowed the award on you and link back to the blogger
3.You must choose a minimum of seven (7) blogs that you find brilliant in content or design. Or improvise by including bloggers who have no idea who you are because you don’t have seven friends (lol).
4.Show the seven random victims’ names and links and leave a harassing comment informing them that they were prized with Honest Weblog. Well, there’s no prize, but they can keep the nifty icon.
5.List at least ten (10) honest things about yourself. Then pass it on!

1) I fantasize about being with a white boy. I find some white men so attractive and imagine what it'll fill like running my hand through their hair. I like blonde guys with wavy hair. I especially like the blonde-hazel eyes combo. It's sad because when I was 'seeing' this one white guy, I felt no physical attraction towards him whatsoever. He was fun to talk to & we hung out A LOT but there just wasn't anything there. Oh well, there goes my 1st confession.

2) I have only been to 1 country in Africa (Nigeria), yet some people refer to me as 'The Africa Expert'. I take the compliment most times but I usually wonder, like seriously people, read a book, surf the web, or read the news sometime & maybe you'll learn a thing or two about Africa. And the strangest thing about this label is that it has come from fellow Nigerians! Like, are you kidding me? you don't know where Central African Republic is? No? Ok, how about looking at the friggin centre of the map, eh?! LOL. Anyway...Africa is a big place, I didn't expect you to know that Egypt wasn't in central africa!
3) I can't speak french to save my life, but I can pretend to know what you're saying if you speak to me in french. Ask me how I do it? I have no clue. I guess I've just been lucky and it wasn't a matter of life & death. For example, if I was in a situation where my Father was being auctioned at a market - I'd be there sheepishly nodding and saying "qui qui, incroyable!" I wouldn't have any clue that they were selling my Daddy.

4) My mind often wanders when people are talking to me. It's not like I do it on purpose or that they're talking nonsense. It's just...well, frankly I have no interest in what they're saying. If I am that bored to the point that while you speak to me I zone out; then you must be saying something really boring. I pride myself in being an attentive listener but for real, please help me out too! Talk about something less drone-like. Like how you saw a man with a blue shirt by the bus stop and how you kept thinking the shirt reminded you of your neighbour who lived across from your apt. 2 years ago. Umm...I don't ~~f**king~~ care! If you wanted the shirt so badly why didn't you rip it off his chest?? Oh, you didn't want the shirt? Ok. You saw your old neighbour at the mall? Oh ok. So why didn't you just say that in the 1st place rather than giving me a play-by-play of minutia. Urrggghhh!!!!
5) I am secretly digusted with wild raunchy sex. Yes, you heard me right. I don't like the idea of someone raining beads of sweat down on me. I think it's yucky & animalistic. I will not tolerate your sweat on my face. No! I don't sweat like that so neither should you. Learn to control your sweat glands for pete's sake.
6) I am claustrophobic. If I get on a bus/train that is crowded - I feel slightly tense. There are so many people, so many potential germs! I hold my breath & wait till the feeling subsides.

7) I am a germaphobe {you knew this was coming after that claustrophobia biznizz}. I am a 'Bleach Girl'. I will bleach everything in my house clean from kitchen counters to door handles. There will be no hiding place for germs in my home!
8) I ~~secretly~~ enjoy procastinating but it always comes back to bite me in the ass. I know this truth, but I still do it. Ask me why? I dunno but how dumb is that?! ~~And I'm hear calling sweaty raunchy sex animalistic~~.

9) This meme is taking too long to complete.

10) I think I'm the sh!t 4real. Boys wanna do me, girls wanna be me, everybody loves me! Haha, who am I kidding, I'm that bitch. That bitch you hate on, that bitch your man will fall in love with, that bitch who you always knew YOU would become. LOL...I kid, I kid. I'm that girl your mom encouraged you to befriend, because she got As & had a clean reputation. But the real question is: who am I? that's the secret I'll never tell...~~gossip girl~~

xo Anya

P.S: I'm supposed to tag 7 other bloggers in this meme, so if you're reading this - consider yourself TAGGED!

P.P.S: I tag
Temite
RocNaija
Solo
Bastille of Beauty
Bibi
Funms
Tininu

Ink-BLOT...my subconscious rant

2009-03-22T19:59:00.004-04:00

Did you ever take an ink-blot test? I took one a few years ago & it was pretty intense. I discovered that my subconscious is tuned into sexual thoughts of gratification. For example, sometimes when I think about something, it can automatically take on a sexual innuendo. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this tendency. There are a lot of people who think about sexual thoughts like me all the time. We are not that rare...but we are sacred. Yes, I said it...extraordinary people.

I'm really just bored and horny. Haven't got any in about 6 months. Body no be wood. Broke up with the X-Boy, trying to move on to other things, I can't be bothered. Today im fantasizing that i'm going to get some from him. Why? because I can. The p3nis was so good, I would sell my entire shoe collection to own it. And I have a lot of shoes.
You say not a reasonable offer? Ok, I'll sell my laptop too just to get it.
Still not good enough? frig, I'll even sell my roommate for a year's supply of d!ck. Kai and I love my roommate... :(
One thing I won't sell though is my soul. D!ck is not worth my precious soul.

X-Boy has said if I want his penis that badly, then we have to get back together. He says he misses me terribly and that he doesn't think there's anyone out there for him like me. I'm flattered but hell no.
We had too many complications in our history. 1st of all, his randy ass wasn't ready to get serious when I was with him. And I wasn't even asking for a diamond key to unlock my heart. I just wanted us to be in a committed & exclusive relationship. Is that too much to ask? I seriously doubt it.
It was a long-distance situation so he wanted to fuck around, y'know; get as much tail as he could with the ladies. But alas! homeboy has gotten with the program. Now he wants to own my uterus. Fuck that! I'm not about to surrender my vulva to anyone just yet. Just because you've had your fill of fornication doesn't mean i'd be waiting for you to come & rescue me. Why do some guys think that their love is worth a Universe? I mean seriously...i don't want you no more. I'd rather play by myself than think about ever shagging up with you again.

Anyhow...I'm ranting. And like I said, body no be wood. Plus being bored & horny doesn't help either. And I can't shag up with any random...there has to (or have been) some kinda affection there, y'know. I dunno how other people do it but one-night stands are definitely not my thing.
So yes, even after all my ranting I think I'm just going to get it from the X-Boy. yes, you heard me right. I have been d!ckmatized & I liked it.

P.S: I know my first paragraph & picture have absolutely nothing to do with this rant. But I don't care. I digress all the time. Tangents are my thing. Call me Anya-Tangentsia or Tangy-Anya... Anya & her ramblings... rants & raves by her royal highness: Anya Posh IV. Oh shit, i'm doing it again. Urrghh whatev.. have a good weekend, my fellow d!ck lovers!

P.P.S: This post is completely unlike me. I'll probably delete it very soon. I think I was under the influence of Ogbanje/Stress when I wrote this last night. But then I posted it anyway. What is wrong with me? HAHAHAHA!!!

P.P.P.S: And so the post stays up!

Nigerian Pubic Hair

2009-03-12T16:27:00.004-04:00

"Same sex marriage, apart from being ungodly, is also unscriptural, unnatural, unprofitable, unhealthy, uncultural, un-African and un-Nigerian," - The Anglican Church of Nigeria.

Yes, I personally believe that although same sex relations are unscriptual and uncultural, they are indeed profitable (if not, why would people do it...sex is sex - atleast somebody cums in the end), can be healthy (condoms, dental dams, monogamous partnerships), Africans do it & Nigerians are no exception.

Today, I was reading the news about how the Nigerian Government has bid to outlaw same sex marriages. What is all this fuss about anyway??? You can outlaw it, but people are still going to engage in those relationships.

Personally, I have seen gay men & women ~~in action~~ in Abuja. In Wuse market, I saw 2 ~~igbo-speaking~~ men sitting together holding hands & smiling at each other sheepishly. Then one of them proceeded to sit on the other's lap. If that is not overt gayness, then I dunno what is. Similarly, there are lesbians in Nigeria. Ask any girl who went to one of those all-girls' boarding school & I bet you they would have a lot of stories about girl on girl action. So the issue is no longer about whether there are gay/bisexual people in Nigeria. The underlying tension is why people get so agitated & are trying to criminalise such ~~diabolical~~ taboo relations.

So how do we solve this one? Do you think this is a case where the State is prying too much into the affairs of the Nation's bedrooms? Or is this a case of maintaining Nigerian government's ~~hypocritical~~ stance, that homosexuality does not exist in Nigeria?

I know this issue is ~~insanely~~ controversial, especially in the Nigerian community, but I don't care. Speak to it.

xoxo Anya

Thai-Style Egg Fried RIce

2009-02-19T23:03:00.005-05:00

My dear bloggerians, I have a confession to make.

I did not creatively come up with that fried rice on my own. I found the recipe online. Click here for the best tutorial in video format. That demonstration is better than anything I could've written for you. Plus, it's really easy to make too. In fact, because I'm so bored with Nigerian dishes & the ingredients are really hard to come by, I have resigned to the mainstream grocery store to fulfill my nutrition needs. For me, it started becoming a real chore to drive for about 2hrs to get to an "ethnic" food store in either Toronto, Brampton, or Mississauga just to find pounded yam, or crayfish, or uyayak, or palm oil, e.t.c.

Anyhow, these days I eat whatever's handy...lots of pitas, wraps, salads, pot roast, indian cuisine, & so on. My new housemate is from Hong Kong, so recently we've been swapping cooking secrets & meals too :D He makes amazing things I tell ya! The man can cook. So I hope you're able to make this Thai-style egg fried rice, it was really delicious.

Anya

P.S: Goodluck

I didn't forget...

2009-02-16T19:43:00.003-05:00

I didn't forget to blog. I've visited several blogs, even commented profusely on some of them but I haven't felt the push to post an entry of my own here. I don't know what it is. I've had interesting things happening in my life recently; so much to talk about but none of them seemed blog-worthy.
I bet those people who know me will beg to differ because some pretty serious things have happened. Anyway, I think those things are irrelevant right now.

So what do we talk about today? Well, today is a public holiday - Family Day, in Canada. The Canadian government had to create an excuse so that people will spend time with their loved ones. Well, i'm not complaining, I needed this break too. It's a good break from work, grad school stress, and the daily routine oF my mundane life.

Oh in other news, Valentine's day has come & gone. It was uneventful here but I hardly even noticed. As a newly single gal, I thought it would be devastating but so far it was OK. I was too busy with homework to get the blues. My X-man called to chat proposing that we get back together. Now why on earth will I do that?! Garrgghh....like being alone on valentines would persuade me into running back into his waiting hands. God forbid! I've had enough of stress with that emotional rollercoaster. I have better things to do with myself these days.

Anyhow, moving on. So to get things going here again, I will respond to the tags I got a few weeks ago and then I will go make myself some dinner. Tonight i'm thinking Thai-style fried rice with roast pork on the side. Mmm mmm....good!

;) Anya

The Year of the Bitch

2009-01-18T17:31:00.003-05:00

Happy New Year Everyone!!!

If you haven't noticed already or felt the tinge of excitement in the air, 2009 is going to be amazing! I don't know exactly why just yet - but I do know that it is going to be a wonderful year. A year that will be equally challenging & invigorating. Cheers to the next 11/12 months!

As the title says, i'm tagging '09 as the year to re-showcase my ~~inner~~ Bitch. She's been stuck in the closet of Self for far too long now. So you may be wondering, what's Anya on about with this bitch-talk, well let me explain it to ya:

This is the year of *Being* In *Total* Control *of* Herself

This abbreviation was coined by Dr. V. Ashley but it has sufficed to fit perfectly with the way I'm going to ~~attack~~ approach this year. I've had enough of my own passivity in taking control of my life & the things that really matter. I've had enough of being a super-agreeable person but hurting myself in the process. I've had it with being too accomodating, too tolerant, too nice (too let's-keep-the-peace-don't-wanna-hurt-nobody's-precious-feelings!) - Oh, Anya's such a good listener...yada yada yada. I've had it with taking on everyone's problems; over-burdening myself with everyone's mishaps & forgetting to deal with my own problems. Enough! Enough!! Enough!!! ~~ENOUGH!!!!!~~.
This is my time to quit whining about my hesitation to burst out the Bitch & just f**king DO IT!

So let me introduce myself, my name is Anya ~~BadAssBitchIV~~ Posh. I'm too opinionated, too assertive, too realistic, too über awesome for all your bullsh!t.

-A. Posh
Proud Member, Heartless Bitches International

The Season for Giving & Receiving

2008-12-27T12:28:00.004-05:00

I've gotten many things over the years during this festive season. Likewise, I have also given many things to the people who I love in my life. This year was particularly interesting because I noticed that even with the upcoming (or ongoing) recession, people were not the least hesitant in their holiday spending. When I went to the mall it was the usual frenzy, no reduction in shopping gusto. People were still forking out those bills, still swiping their VISA & Mastercards like there was no impending danger. I felt like I should've been running around screaming "DANGER, DANGER, DOOM, DOOM, THE END IS FUCKING NIGH".
But of course, I didn't run around like a mad woman (that is the stuff for those revolutionaries). However, my whole observations got me thinking. In the giving & receiving of presents that are so characteristic of this culture (western culture, i.e American, U.K, Australia...or any other culture that has been infected with this strain of Materialism; materialisticitis, traumatic compulsive splurg~irifimentia), what price are we willing to pay when it comes to saying to the ones we care about, "I appreciate you, I love you"...? How do you justify spending $550 on Abercrombie & Fitch apparel for a 13 year-old? Where do you draw the line between compulsive spending & reasonable gift giving? I don't care if I seem cheap, but this year I spent only $165.63 on seven people in gifts they absolutely loved & truly appreciated. How much did you spend on your holiday shopping/gift giving?

Where do I begin? Everything has Changed.

2008-12-10T11:12:00.008-05:00

Hey everyone,

Instead of doing a very detailed entry, I got this Q&A from Coupe de Coeur and I filled out my own answers. I've been soooo lazy to do an actual post describing what's been going on with me this past couple months. It's been sooo crazy. Everything is so different now as a grad student....sheesh. The expectations are so much higher & I'm just plain sick about everything.

Anyway, my X-boy & I are back together. My post on the perfect love was about us. He's being such a sweet heart these days. But I just can't get over the voices screaming 'doom, doom, doom ahead' in my mind about the fate of our relationship. I think I have way too many wants, needs, & demands for his simplistic nature to comprehend. Sometimes I feel like he just doesn't get it. Like when I say, 'call me often', he'll do that for a few days & then fizzle out. He says he loves me dearly but I feel that in terms of where I want us to be he's just emotionally unavailable, like Funms summarised here.

Anyway, other than relationship woes & school stress, everything else is generally fine. I'm excited for christmas & no, I haven't started shopping yet (arrrgggh...). I've been so busy with papers & projects that going to the mall just seemed trivial compared to the grander scheme of things.

Ok, so lemme get to work quickly so I can get this paper done!

Anya.....x

***
Q&A time:

where is your cell phone? In the pocket of my coat

where is your significant other? in New Yawk...

your hair color? Black but i'm growing out a caramel dye job

your mother? Cross-River, Nigeria

your father? Akwa-Ibom, Nigeria

your favorite thing? umm...Reading

your dream last night? It was a nightmare about me fighting off a dog/wolf that was trying to attack me.

your dream/goal? be a successful consultant with an NGO, to continue growing

the room you're in? university library study area

your hobby? reading, watching movies. I'm going to take up swimming soon & maybe sewing/knitting as well.

your fear? ice, height, water, & being sad in the future.

where do you want to be in 6 years? by God's grace, working a good job I enjoy, married with at least 1 child, own a house & living somewhere in the Mediterranean

where were you last night? at home

what you're not? snobbish, confrontational, I love peace at any cost. I don't always like this about me.

one of your wish list items? an 8" laptop for those days I need to carry around something lighter.

where you grew up? Abuja, Nigeria; (I'd like to say Abidjan, Cote D'Ivoire - I love West African French) I was just in Port Dover, Ontario Canada; a few days ago

the last thing you did? drink coffee

what are you wearing? Blue Jeans, black tank top & a purple sweater.

your tv? in my room

your pet? I had a dog. He was a Labrador & the most adorable thing on the planet.

your computer? in my room

your mood? stressed out. why am I doing this survey when I could be working on that paper?!

missing someone? my boyfriend. I wish we could chill

your car? I don't have one. So I guess its at the car dealership

something you're not wearing? my bangles

favorite store? hmm... that's a hard one. I would have to say Lush, M.A.C, RW & Co, and bebe.

your summer? I travelled to Nigeria.

love someone? my boyfriend, my family.

your favorite color? red

when is the last time you laughed? last night

last time you cried? can't remember. I thought about this a few days ago, but I didn't ask myself the question out loud so I don't jinx anything & end up in tears.

are you a b*tch? rarely, but I hate stupidity & redundancy. So yes, when I get PMS it's not a happy world after all.

favorite past time? eating, watching TV online.

are you a hater or a lover? I can be both. I'm learning to love more now

are you genuine or fake? Both. It depends on if the occasion calls me to perform. I'm fake when I don't have time to be genuine. Being genuine all the time is sooo much work.

any vices? obsessing about my hair. I'm newly natural so it's hard not to obsess. Tho, now i'm slowly becoming a minimalist. Less is more!!!

pro life or wire hanger? pro-life

mccain or obama? Obama. What did you expect?

pro plastic or natural? Natural.

dream job? Anything that gives me Power! Power!! & more Power!!! I am a Megalomaniac.

If you haven't been tagged, consider yourself tagged!!

Frig! it's december already...

2008-12-04T00:36:00.003-05:00

Ok, pardon me but where is 2008 running to? I mean seriously...the year is almost over?!!

This was my harsh realization today, but I'll come back & do a real update. I promise.

Anya xoxo

----
I just updated y'all.

In other news, check out this delicious XY Chromosome. That pubic hair adds an extra tinch of sexiness to his fine self. And yes, I said pubic hair. I like what I like. ;)

The Perfect Love

2008-11-10T12:16:00.004-05:00

Nothing is perfect {except God}
But I wanted us to be perfect.

Last night, he said "Anya, I love you".

I've waited so long to hear those words.

But now that he has said them I am in tears.

Tears of relief and tears of confusion.

What does this mean for us, how long has he known that he loved me? why didn't he say it earlier?

I told him I loved him ages ago....I always knew it. Telling him made me vulnerable. So I always felt like I got the short end of the stick in our relationship. Now, we are both vulnerable. Where do we go from here?

He thinks I need someone better than him. Why does everyone keep saying that?! Can't I freely choose to love whomever I want? What exactly is wrong with him (or his past) that makes him think we can't be perfect? I have the right to love him...

I know we've had a dramatic history and so many things have been said (or left unsaid). But the future can be better. We can create something perfect.

I am both dazed and confused. I want to believe in this power of love (...young love while our spirits thrive), but I don't want to regret my decision 5-10 years from now, heck - in 20 years I want to still believe in this same power of love (...young love while our spirits are thriving).

He says that he wants me to be happy however I can. I say in my mind "I want to be happy with you".

But no matter how much I plead, there is no answer in my mind's eye. I've asked God several times for direction, for intervention, for anything. I need a sign. So far, nothing spectacular has crossed my mind's eye. I'm still waiting...

I want us to be perfect (whether we remain together or not...)

Teary-eyed,

Anya.......x

The only thing I remember from Anthropology 101

2008-10-17T15:56:00.004-04:00

We studied all kinds of things those days during my undergrad when I took one Anthroplogy course. We were eager to learn about the world, societies, tribes, and civilizations but this was the one thing which stuck in my mind. I even still remember the exact quote and the authors of our textbook.

"...like the oversexed wife, the oversexed adolescent boy is regarded as a witch and condemned of robbing his age-mates of their semen supply" - M. Harris & O. Johnson

Have a good weekend everyone!

Anya......x

Opinions: Pro-Woman, Anti-Palin

2008-10-06T21:21:00.003-04:00

I never thought I'd be sharing so many thoughts in one week, talk more of 2 posts in one day but I want you blogvillians to see this anti-Palin protest in Alaska.

I'm usually not one to put forth my personal views & opinions on highly politicised issues like presidential elections but this case was simply too intriguing to ignore. Why would the citizens of her own State, so graciously reject her? And in public too. Shame, what a shame.

------------
On a lighter note, have you heard Chrisette Michele's song "Golden"? It's the absolute truth. I love it. I've decided that this tune has to be the theme of my engagement, wedding reception or whatever other romantic shenanigans I get myself into.

Her voice is pure caramel ~*

Anya......x

Darkness, Blood & Oil...Oh MY!!!

2008-10-06T15:22:00.004-04:00

Check out this BBC report, 'Blood oil' dripping from Nigeria.

The situation is very bad (is that an understatement? Yes). The problem is extensive. I knew it was bad, but not this bad (talk about darkness at the end of the tunnel).

I'm partly hopeless at this point. Any thoughts?

Anya.......x

Machiavelli (the prince): Favourite Excerpts

2008-10-03T15:21:00.003-04:00

I found these excerpts which I copied into my Journal about 2 years ago when I re-read the Prince as an adult.
I want to share this with you. I won't write any introduction for these quotations because they are all random citings since scooped them up from different sections of the book. It is intriguing because centuries later, these quotes still have meaning and relevance in my 2008. Enjoy!

Anya.......x
-------

"The fact is that a man (woman)* who wants to act virtuously in every way necessarily comes to grief among so many who are not virtuous".

"You hurt yourself only when you give away what is your own. There is nothing so self-defeating as generosity: in the act of practicing it, you lose the ability to do so, and you become either poor and despised or, seeking to escape poverty, rapacious and hatred; and generosity results in your being both."

"...but because men (women)* are wretched creatures who would not keep their word to you, you need not keep your word to them. And no prince (princess)* ever lacked good excuses to colour his bad faith."

"But one must know how to colour one's actions and to be a great liar and deceiver. Men (Women)8 are so simple, and so much creatures of Circumstance, that the deceiver will always find someone ready to be deceived."

"...he (she)* should not deviate from what is good, if that is possible, but he (she)* should know how to do evil, if that is necessary."

"Everyone sees what you appear to be, few experience what you really are."

Qualities a Prince (Princess)* should possess:
"Compassion,
a man (woman)* of good faith,
a man (woman)* of integrity
a kind man (woman)*
a religious man (woman)*

------
*: the androcentric writing of 13th century literature make it necessary to include a feminine slant in his writing because there was some very serious stuff in this book about how it is often necessary for men to beat their wives, e.t.c, but I won't go into that right here.

If you've read the Prince what were your ideas on Machiavelli's prescriptions? If you haven't what do you think about these excerpts?

Define those Eyes!

2008-09-24T13:23:00.004-04:00

The aim in this photo is to get Iman's eyes using a M.A.C brow finisher, a brown palette eyeshadow, liquid and kohl eyeliner, & lots of Bronzer. She looks radiant!

Beyonce's eyes are so glamourous in this photo but she pairs them with a very subtle pink lip. This look will require lots of under-eye concealer and an intense smoky-eye with only black shadows, liquid eye-liner, and a kohl-liner for my lower lids. I'm uber excited for this weekend. It's going to be glam, glam, glam!!!

What was I waiting for?

2008-09-17T11:02:00.002-04:00

I know. I know. I've neglected blogging for weeks now, er..months. I've been busy, busy, busy. Life is hard work. I know, I really have no excuses to give. But let's just say, I've been gone for a while - dealing with the crap that must be dealt with. Anyway, I'm back now and I still got love for y'all.

Although i've been gone, I've still been perusing through other blogs since my hiatus/partial comeback. It's sooo much easier just having to read rather that write, then edit, then rewrite, and edit some more.

A lot of you asked wondering if everything was alright with me. Thanks for your concern. And no, everything is not alright. I'm changing. I'm morphing into an adult y'all. It's sickening. I am watching fleeting youth. Ah...but not entirely. I have changed quite a bit since returning from Nigeria. I see the world through clearer eyes. My worldview is now more compassionate with reality. I am learning to appreciate it with my heart.

In other aspects of my life, I'm back in school getting yet another degree (...keep piling 'em on). I'm currently not seriously dating anyone. Except there was this guy, Mr. R. He was really nice and admirable. But for some reason I have become repulsed by him. I can't explain it. And then there was Mr. A, who is trying to foster a relationship but I just want a fling because I know who knd who he has shagged. Then there's X-boy who is still kinda in the picture, but not quite (if that makes any sense). Generally, this relationship aspect of my life now is lacking lustre. When things have more meaning, I'll relay it to you.

But until that time, I may not blog too much till I actually have something tangible to share. I've missed reading through all your posts and commenting too but I promise to get back on that as soon as this few weeks of school drama dissipates.

Until then,

ta ta xox

Anya Hiatus

2008-06-07T22:21:00.004-04:00

I've been blogging for a few months now, but before I blog some more I want to really thank anyone who has ever read my entries. I get a warm fuzzy feeling when I plaster something over the net and I get so much positive reinforcement about my writing, my skills and a talent I thought I lost.

However, in the next few weeks I may be among the international development students approved to head out to Cochambamba and Riberalta, Bolivia for a political development project to work in close collaboration with coca farmers and the current government of Evo Morales. Bolivia's coca farmers are caught in a dilemma of the licit and illicit use and growth of coca cultivation.

For anyone unfamiliar with all of this, coca is the raw material for cocaine but is prized by many Bolivians (especially among those of Amero-Indian descent) for its traditional uses in medicines and herbal teas. Long before coca was used to make cocaine, the indigenous people of the Andean region, the Aymara and Quechua, chewed coca leaves as a dietary supplement, a means to ease pangs of hunger and thirst and an antidote for altitude sickness.

So unless you want to know the exciting details of this potential trip to Bolivia, I'll spare you the politics of coca farming. Although, for an exciting fact I hear that home-grown fresh coca (cocaine) is pretty f**king amazing, so i'll let you know how my 1st taste feels!**I wish, I wish**

In other news though, if I am chosen for Bolivia I plan to head home to Nigeria after! yes yes - it's been almost 6 years since I've been back, so I gotta say it's about damn time I paid them a visit. The only downside is that unless i'm insane I won't be blogging from a cybercafe, so this means an even more limited amount of blog entries from me. But I hope from time to time, I can find time to update this space on what's really happening with me.

Until later Blogville, ta ta xoxo

Excerpts from Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert

2008-05-14T14:26:00.002-04:00

{Background Info to this excerpt: He calls her Groceries and he is Richard from Texas, whom she met at the Ashram in India}

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“But I really loved him.”

“Big deal. So you fell in love with someone. Don’t you see what happened? This guy touched a place in your heart deeper than you thought you were capable of reaching, I mean you got zapped, kiddo. But that love you felt, that’s just the beginning. You just got a taste of love. That’s just limited little rinky-dink mortal love. Wait till you see how much more deeply you can love than that. Heck, Groceries – you have the capacity to someday love the whole world. It’s your destiny. Don’t laugh.”

“I’m not laughing.” I was actually crying. “And please don’t laugh at me now, but I think the reason it’s so hard for me to get over this guy is because I seriously believed David was my soul mate.”

“He probably was. Your problem is you don’t understand what that word means. People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that’s holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave. And thank God for it. Your problem is, you just can’t let this one go. It’s over, Groceries. David’s purpose was to shake you up, drive you out of that marriage that you needed to leave, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light could get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you had to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master and beat it.”

“….You’re like a dog at the dump, baby – you’re lickin’ at an empty tin can, trying to get more nutrition out of it. And if you’re not careful, that can’s gonna get stuck on your snout forever and make your life miserable. So drop it.”

“If you clear out all that space in your mind that you’re using right now to obsess about this guy, you’ll have a vacuum there, an open spot – a doorway. And guess what the universe will do with that doorway? It will rush in – God will rush in – and fill you with more love than you ever dreamed. So stop using David to block that door. Let it go.”

[Excerpts from Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert]

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This section of the book pretty much sums up the way I am feeling now that I am technically back with X-boy. It's not exhilirating being back with him but it feels good. Lemme find the words - umm....comfortably familiar, warm, reminiscent of a former ideal. I'm really not sure what will happen tomorrow, or the day after but I am enjoying every minute of it now.

Blossom Me, Spring!

2008-04-25T17:56:00.007-04:00

I know I've been MIA around blogville for some time now. I decided to take a break from virtual reality to face my tangible reality. A lot has happened since my last post, but I'll make an entry about that later. Meanwhile, I've been doing spring cleaning around my house since last week and it's been so tiring but I'm almost done. I just unearthed a few notes I made while I was reading Mitch Albom's Tuesdays with Morrie a few years ago. And I would love to share them with you. Here are a few excerpts from the book which touched my spirit and are still applicable to my heart:

Maybe Death is the great equalizer. "The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, & to let it come in". Levine: "Love is the only rational act".

"I give myself a good cry if I need it. But then I concentrate on all the good things still in my life".

"Not everyone is so lucky" - this apparently is the "coldest realization".

On the issue of preparing to die, Albom remarks: "...the culture doesn't encourage you to think about such things until you're about to die. We're so wrapped up with egotistical things; career, family, having enough money, meeting the mortgage, getting a new car, fixing the radiator when it breaks - we're involved in trillions of little acts just to keep going. So we don't get into the habit of standing back and looking at our lives and saying, Is this all? Is this all I want? Is something missing?"

"Everyone knows that they're going to die but nobody believes it, if we did, we would do things differently."

"Once you learn how to die, you learn how to live"

"...if you accept that you can die at any time - then you might not be as ambitious as you are".

"The fact is, there is no foundation, no secure ground, upon which people may stand today if it isn't the family".

Auden: "Love each other or Perish"

On 'detaching myself from the experience' - "don't cling to things, cause everything is impermanent".

"But detachment doesn't mean you don't let the experience penetrate you. On the contrary, you let the experience penetrate you fully. That's how you're able to leave it".

"You're afraid of the vulnerability that loving entails"

"Devote yourself to loving others, devoted yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning".

This was a smokescreen - "my greed inconsequential compared to theirs" (other people).

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What will you be reading this Spring? I plan to finish Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat, Pray, Love by next week and then finally finish The Secret by Rhonda Byrne. Those are wonderful books you can get cozy with on these rainy spring nights!

xo Anya

Teardrops like Raindrops

2008-04-11T22:29:00.007-04:00

I wrote this in June 2005 when I was still wild and weary about X-boy. These days I am just weary.
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When I'm mad, it's usually something about blaming you. Somehow you're the reason I haven't smiled in a while. If I've had a bad day, and it got me down. I come home & shut myself in. I try to open up to you but my Self won't let me. I'm stuck in my ways.

When I'm mad, I want to take off all my clothes, sit on the floor and weep. I want to wallow in self-pity just for a little while. I want to scream but I stifle any sounds but tiny whimpers still escape when I sob. I want to remind myself that I am friggin' gorgeous. Anya is more than that. She doesn't need you to be anything for her. She is enough for herself.

But I am not enough.

Fast-forward to December 2007:

I envision a time when I was happier. I envision, I don't remember it. Sometimes, I want you to act a certain way, be a certain way, fulfill my desires. Call me more often, like at midnight to tell me "baby, i was just thinking about you, I miss you"; even if you saw me barely 20mins ago. But you don't. I want it go to back to the time when I didn't care so much about you. When you were only a fleeting thought. But now, you have become something more. I wish I didn't worry so much about you or us or when or how things will turn out. I wish I was just living my life without these after-thoughts. I don't know why I'm doing this to myself. You're hurting me but I can't get away.

Go with the Flow

2008-04-05T18:54:00.004-04:00

I am not a fish. But somehow I still find myself swimming along with the tide {wait a min, do fish swim with the current or against it? beats me...anyway, that is not the point}.

Deep down in the essence of my Self, I am an anarchist. I aspire to the likes of Emma Goldman and Ken Saro-Wiwa. I am in a race against the corporate machine. I cry for freedom! Justice! Equality! I dare for societal reform, a drastic transformation - hmm, I like the sound of revolution...

But am I a farce? For indeed I am a conformist. I want to be well liked so I try not to disrupt the system (too much). I dance to the beat of their drums and then I smile and wave {do it now; smile and wave}. If you ask me why I conform, I will lie to you. I'll tell you this is the only way I can get ahead...you know, beat them at their own game. You have to get in and then work your way through from the inside.

I'll rock my Abercrombie and Fitch outfits with my Fendi sunglasses and I still campaign against the installation of sweatshops at the Maquiladoras in Mexico. I want to be eco-conscious, yet I detest the new Going Green campaigns because I think they are are hoax. Global warming is for kids, let's win this war in Iraq! Why isn't the U.S bombing Mugabe out of office in Zimbabwe? Why aren't they chucking out Kim Jung Il from North Korea?

But the truth is that I am scared. I am scared of violent death, I fear poverty, hunger and starvation. I fear that I may not satisy my high tastes, my luxuries, those comforts. That I may succumb to an impoverished lifestyle. Maybe I am just too spoiled to face reality. I cannot tell.

Recently, I've gotten this constant reaffirment in my spirit that I can do anything. {Literally, a voice in my mind whispers: Anya, you can do it. Go for it. Don't stop. You can accomplish anything. Don't be frightened. Don't be intimidated. You must take it}. But I am so scared. What if I don't get it? What if I can't reach it? What if I can't touch it? Oh so many 'what ifs'....

Anya, you can do it.
Go for it. Nothing can stop you now.
Don't stop.
You can take it.
You must take it.
You will take it.

Half of a Yellow Sun

2008-03-09T16:46:00.008-04:00

I just finished reading Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie's marvelous novel entitled above. I absolutely loved it. I would recommend that anyone who hasn't read it, should take a break & get their read on!!

There is a spoiler link that glorifies the book, I have posted below. It is a wonderful work of art and I cannot overemphasize the magnimity of this work as it tells the story of Biafra in a great way.
http://www.halfofayellowsun.com/content.php?page=author_gallery&n=1&f=2

My Voice, I hear it

2008-02-12T22:20:00.003-05:00

People often tell me that I have a distinguished voice, in the tone, the appeal; "it's low & husky", then when I'm really excited or just plain elated, "it gets high & squeaky".
Have you ever tape-recorded your voice and then played it over to hear what you sound like? Or in this age I should ask, have you ever left yourself or someone else a voice message then played it over to hear yourself? I do this often enough and on one of those days, I didn't just like what I sounded like anymore. I literally hated the tone of my own voice when I wrote this.
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The sound from my lungs :||:
Squeaky? No - brash!
:||: I hear you, but I do not know you.
Ages of trial hath not changed thee :||:
Even displacement, yet; I still do not know you.
When will you become?
To take up the shimmering glow of something divine - like resurrection.
When will you become me? Embodied in all I represent, yet weakened by the sound from my lungs.
I do not hate you. I feel only a passionate dislike today.

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Oh and then another thing; my accent. ha! that one is another enigma. Most people tell me I have no accent; that it's not quite Canadian or strictly American or British or even Nigerian. { see me, see wahala!}. I like to think that my accent is a convoluted compossibility that personifies all that is me, all that is Anya!!!

Memoirs of a Young Heart

2008-02-04T13:19:00.001-05:00

I wrote this when I was sure I was done with X-boy. But then (Tei forgive me...) I relapsed. I love myself immensely but does this mean that I didn't loved me enough to get rid of that old crap? These questions hunt me.
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I enjoyed some of my time spent with you.
Sometimes I felt incredibly fulfilled; I wished the moments would last forever.
But then I wasn't really happy with you, or at least the happiness was always short-lived.
I would want to remain in the space and time where my heart skipped beats
But you would never remain with me.
I don't think you were really happy with me either.
It was a heart-song that wasn't meant to be sung
It was a plea to forget reality and relish in your arms.
But I could only forget for a time.

I watched you kiss her - right before my very eyes
And I was to pretend that I didn't want to scream
Like, I didn't want to vomit & spill my insides.
Let the whole world see what has become of me, become of us.
But "we" never really were
It was only a facade of my imagination.
An image I begged to manifest into reality

I watched you kiss her
With those same lips you used to kiss me
With those same lips, I knew you would kiss me later.
I wonder why I went to your house that night
What was I trying to prove, what was I trying to realise?
That maybe the shock of seeing you two would blast me back to reality {common sense}.
To the realization that we would never be.
We were not meant to - coexist
In that space, that time, together. Never.
So I chested the pain...Ode eshi
Like I was some kinda of ride-or-die chic.
Nah...that's not me.
It has never been me...
I have never been that numb-everything-I-can't-feel-a-thing babe
And that is why I was never happy.
I would never truly purged of my emotions.
Those emotions you knew were real.

But that is the price I pay for living in denial
I lied to myself that I was numb...
N-n-n-u...mmmbbb.
When the truth is that I am like a magnified sensationalizing entity.
The other end of the spectrum of numbness...
I feel it. I feel you. I felt everything.
Time and Time again, I would remember the love {life} I envisioned for myself
And I try to force the idea of you into that picture.
I tried so hard to convince myself that you were not ready for it.
That maybe I should give you a little more time.

But in the words of Keyshia Cole, "you need to leave if he don't wanna love you the right way..."
I should've left earlier
I could've left in September 2005.
I could've left you in January 2006
I could've left you in March 2006
But then I got hooked on you in May 2006.
No that wasn't enough for me...I had to go ahead & plunge myself deeper.
Deeper than I've ever known before...and then I was finished.
I became V-V--uuu-ll-ner-able.
I let myself get weak - you loved that. Made you feel like a man,
Ego-stroking; you were floating on cloud 9
While I was sinking deeper and deeper beneath the depths